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I feel as though I need a traslator to get through my parents or any family members

becca657

Hi guys,

I have high functioning aspergers syndrome and find it very frustrated trying to get through to my family and have never fully felt part of it as am the only one with as and the rest of my family never really tried to understand it or me. I have plenty of friends who I can get on with a live with two girls, as am in university, who I have no problems with so socialising outside the family isn't as difficult for me but when it comes to family I just wish there was some kind of translator as it feels like I have done everything right but in there eyes am just causing problems. Although this could be my family as they don’t get on very well with each other away but I still feel like an outsider I think I will be happier when I move out for real.

I don't think anyone can help with my family issues but I would like to find out if anyone else has similar problems with connecting with their family or simply don't feel like condition get taken seriously?

(it would be nice to know am not the only one and too heard how you guys dealt with things like that.)

Thanks for reading =)

Becca

Parents

  • I think families constitute the ultimate clique. They've been around a long time and NT family members will get used to group codes and habits, whereas someone with AS will have difficulty picking these up. As a consequence you will seem particularly to be being awkward and not trying to fit in.

    I don't think anyone sufficiently understands what is involved in social communication that makes it difficult for people on the spectrum. Body language is often cited, but really lots of people are puzzled by unfamiliar body language, which is why many books are written about it.

    I don't think it is all down to eye contact either - all those tests with dolls and balls in boxes (!!!) suggest some knowledge is passed by eye contact, but it can be got round. Speech intonation, pitch and tone may be more likely. The whole point about needing smilies (emoticons) when texting is that you need something extra when it comes down to just words, so facial expressions are obviously key (but whether all the fuss with Social Stories is justified I'm not so sure).

    I have great difficulty with family. I'm clearly not getting all the message everyone else gets in a conversation, and I get criticised for not making the effort. I suspect that the clues I'm missing are so subtly familiar to everyone else that they cannot see why I'm having trouble.

    Also families have insider knowledge - what relatives were like, and very easily assign real difficulties to cussidness or "being difficult" without realising maybe there's a pattern here that affected other generations.

    What puzzles me is that, considering families, marriages etc are such a well known area for difficulty for people on the spectrum, you'd think more in-depth and informative books could be written - too many books on this are full of platitudes and superficial theories.

Reply

  • I think families constitute the ultimate clique. They've been around a long time and NT family members will get used to group codes and habits, whereas someone with AS will have difficulty picking these up. As a consequence you will seem particularly to be being awkward and not trying to fit in.

    I don't think anyone sufficiently understands what is involved in social communication that makes it difficult for people on the spectrum. Body language is often cited, but really lots of people are puzzled by unfamiliar body language, which is why many books are written about it.

    I don't think it is all down to eye contact either - all those tests with dolls and balls in boxes (!!!) suggest some knowledge is passed by eye contact, but it can be got round. Speech intonation, pitch and tone may be more likely. The whole point about needing smilies (emoticons) when texting is that you need something extra when it comes down to just words, so facial expressions are obviously key (but whether all the fuss with Social Stories is justified I'm not so sure).

    I have great difficulty with family. I'm clearly not getting all the message everyone else gets in a conversation, and I get criticised for not making the effort. I suspect that the clues I'm missing are so subtly familiar to everyone else that they cannot see why I'm having trouble.

    Also families have insider knowledge - what relatives were like, and very easily assign real difficulties to cussidness or "being difficult" without realising maybe there's a pattern here that affected other generations.

    What puzzles me is that, considering families, marriages etc are such a well known area for difficulty for people on the spectrum, you'd think more in-depth and informative books could be written - too many books on this are full of platitudes and superficial theories.

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