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Dating

Hope

Has anyone had any experience, positive or otherwise, of using dating sites to find a partner? I would soon like to pursue this route as I will very soon be living in my own flat, and eventually I would like to settle down with a partner, a female partner. I am also asexual, but would just like an intimate, platonic relationship: to live with someone. I currently live with my parents, and  I  greatly fear isolation and being on my own as they get old and cannot be there for me anymore. I am a solitary, introverted person, but I cannot bear the idea of not having a soul-mate, someone to share my academic interests with, to go on holiday with and to provide encouragement. Someone to eat my meals with, to cook for, to talk to, to watch TV with.

Parents

  • I have had a lot of experience with online dating I think. I can't remember when I signed up but some time ago.

    It has been a very negative experience all in all, but I don't know what else to do as I am very deeply lonely, and crave intimacy, but I have no other way to meet people - as leaving the house is just far too stressful for me to ever be comfortable enough to even make friends, let alone try to find an intimate partner.

    My impression of dating sites is that they are mostly a 'non-autistic' facade of the search for a relationship, and that the great majority of people are simply 'window-shopping' for relationships, and conversely simply attempting to attract some sort of sexual attention/interest too.

    I know that is a broad generalisation, but all I can say is that it has been my personal experience: online-dating is a joke.

    That said, the site nolongerlonely is somewhat exceptional - specifically for people with mental health issues - although than it becomes problematic that while a 'medical condition' autism is in itself a stable natural state... whereas all the people on that site are mentally ill in some form: so it tends to be that they're waiting/looking for a 'cure' in some form... it is like they're not really looking for a relationship as such, just to be cheered up while they're down.

    I ramble on, don't I? I'll try and stop there, unless you're interested in hearing some more. I'm sorry to be so negative - it is just my experiences, I don't see any reason not to try out online dating. You should definitely do that if you feel like it!

    Who knows? :)

Reply

  • I have had a lot of experience with online dating I think. I can't remember when I signed up but some time ago.

    It has been a very negative experience all in all, but I don't know what else to do as I am very deeply lonely, and crave intimacy, but I have no other way to meet people - as leaving the house is just far too stressful for me to ever be comfortable enough to even make friends, let alone try to find an intimate partner.

    My impression of dating sites is that they are mostly a 'non-autistic' facade of the search for a relationship, and that the great majority of people are simply 'window-shopping' for relationships, and conversely simply attempting to attract some sort of sexual attention/interest too.

    I know that is a broad generalisation, but all I can say is that it has been my personal experience: online-dating is a joke.

    That said, the site nolongerlonely is somewhat exceptional - specifically for people with mental health issues - although than it becomes problematic that while a 'medical condition' autism is in itself a stable natural state... whereas all the people on that site are mentally ill in some form: so it tends to be that they're waiting/looking for a 'cure' in some form... it is like they're not really looking for a relationship as such, just to be cheered up while they're down.

    I ramble on, don't I? I'll try and stop there, unless you're interested in hearing some more. I'm sorry to be so negative - it is just my experiences, I don't see any reason not to try out online dating. You should definitely do that if you feel like it!

    Who knows? :)

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