My daughter, who was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome when she was 19, has never felt able to apply for a job. She left (mainstream) school after A levels, managed only one day of enrolment week at uni, attempted 3 volunteering posts which all fizzled out after a few weeks, and now spends her time at home doing a bit of housework, baking, going on Youtube and reading. I'm sure this is a familiar scenario to many of you, but how, oh how, do I help her to find a job?
I myself was diagnosed with AS last year at the age of 56, and I am so similar to my daughter in temperament, that I know exactly the reasons why she has been unable to enter the world of work. I managed to work for a few years as a secretary but had to give up in 1992 because of anxiety and other reasons and I have been a housewife ever since.
The reasons why we are both "unemployed" are as follows: Low Self Esteem: my daughter says if she thinks of a job, she instantly starts telling herself she is not good enough to do it; Passiveness: my daughter needs other people to tell her what to do and rarely initiates anything herself. I'm sure this is why she was able to function to a certain extent at school, because there it was all being told what to do and having structure and routine (although she was unable to function socially, of course) and why her life has been so empty of purpose since she left; Lack of Interest/Ambition: my daughter says she has thought of every hobby there is, and has no desire to do any of them; and of course, the thing which affects all of us, Inability to Engage with Others, and in fact, in my daughter's case, not wanting to be with people at all, as she finds it so agonising.
Luckily for me, I was able to go to uni where I met my husband, so I have at least had something of a life, whereas my daughter is unable to make friends, go out, or in fact do much at all. The whole situation is absolutely heartbreaking, and we have come across nobody who can help. We have approached local organisations who give support to people with Asperger's, but to no avail.
I hope I have managed to put across what the situation actually is. As you know, it is always difficult to convey to other people exactly what you are going through, but I will be interested to hear if anyone has any ideas we have not yet thought of. Oh, and please don't say she could set up a baking business, as quite a few people have suggested - she is not business minded in the slightest, and I think you need to be very confident and ambitious to set up your own business.
Thank you for reading this.
