Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
i recently had a formal diagnosis of autism (RAAD-R 189/240) having suspected for a while and having self assessed with the ASD-50 (37/50), Aspie Quiz: high functioning autism, and the Empathy Quotient (13). I'm a professional engineer running my own small business, although struggling to find sufficient work due to industrial down turn, and I have also recently re-married. Surprisingly enough, I don't know what to do with the diagnosis or what to think about it or how to cope with it. I know I'm not coping well with things in general and need help, but don't know what help or sort of help that I need or where to turn for it. I know that I can't be the only person to find myself in this position or feel like this, so I'm reaching out to hear and learn from other peoples experiences. So how did you cope and what did you do?
Thanks
Andy
Hi Andy,
I don't find that too surprising really - I didn't know either (I also didn't want that diagnosis, but it seems even people who were desperate to get it are often just as lost). So I didn't really cope and tried to punish myself for being the way I am, especially after telling my mum about it and it turned out she had been suffering from me all my life, and lots of other people too, apparently. Somehow I did quite a lot of rubbish, ended up in A&E and with some crisis team nurses and the like, non of which was helpful, they didn't understand me and neither of us felt that I should be there. Guess I was generally not in a great place, not just the diagnosis thing, but it's quite bad that they simply send people away without anyone helping you to deal with what they've told you, whether this was what you wanted to hear or not.
Anyway, you need a fair bit of patience and I'm not sure if it's countrywide or only in some parts, but after some time you may be offered 5 sessions with some counsellor who specialises in autism, you could perhaps ask if that's going to happen, even if it takes a while. I was very skeptical first after a lot of bad experience with counsellors who made me feel worse every time but did give it a try and it was actually really good. I wasted the first session with being worked up about this counsellor saying she'll send a summary of that session to me and my GP (and I did not want anything to go to my GP because I was looking for a job) but after this was sorted it was really helpful. There is no set programme for those 5 sessions, so if you don't really know by then (which is likely, I guess) you can explore what to do with that diagnosis, for instance. Make the most of it if it is offered to you, it's likely to be the only time that you see a counsellor who does understand your issues and may therefore have some useful suggestions how to deal with them.
Otherwise, have a bit of a read around here. I find it's quite nice to know that I'm not the only "weirdo", somehow it seems a bit more acceptable that way.
Take care!