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Changing - Feeling very down

random

Hi,

I have had a very depressing day, it's at the end of a week off work on a day where I have some more time to myself, which I have been craving for. I have found life very difficult this year, I guess I will say that for any year. I am under the care of Neurology team, and have been getting some assistance from a trainee psychologist, which was going very well. I feel good about that, but it fuels an anger that I was refused similar assistance over 30 years ago, when I only had two sessions and felt similarly positive over it despite being in a deep depression. My psychologist has ended her stay, and now face the world without her support. I am getting continually angry over work, and how I have been treated; they have pressured me in to submitting the changes I want, and just have not been able to complete that. Mostly down to the anger at work, I have openly explained to work that, but does not sink in. They have now put my line manager in sole responsibility for looking after my welfare, he is a nightmare to work with. I got very down at work last week when there was a sick joke about suicide, I had heard it before once or twice, and I could recover, but last week there were people just repeating the joke over again, even to the same people. It took me four day and over a weekend to get my feelings back in line. I am getting worried at my housing situation, prices just seem to keep ramping up where I am, and I strongly feel there is no future of me settling here, although it is and has been my home for a few weeks under twenty years. So have been thinking of buying elsewhere in the country which is affordable, but there is no way I can commute to work do it is home or job. When I talk this through with my dad, he says how are you going to support yourself if you buy somewhere else. Well I don't see how I can support myself on my current path, to me there's not much difference, although I will have  the security of a home. I have got a trip to a show in London Tommorow, something I had been looking forward too, but just feel numb about it.

Random

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hello Random I'm still up because I tried a late excursion to see if I could see the northern lights but although the moon was beautiful I didn't see the lights. I was just browsing on here before going to bed when I found your post. Sorry that you have had a low day and that work has been so horrid. I know I find it difficult  when I have built a rapport with a psychologist or counsellor and it stops. one or two feel as close as friends but it's a professional relationship and so it's like losing a friend. I find it takes several days or longer sometimes if something has upset me and it's not easy to deal with ; at times I get frustrated with myself when it takes so long. I do have my own home but not in the countryside where I'd like to be. Again practical considerations have to come first and I cannot think what I will do when circumstances change.. it is scary. I hope you feel up to going on your planned trip tomorrow and your enthusiasm returns so that you enjoy it.