I've recently been diagnosed since years of anxiety and depression and finally this world seems a little bit clearer! I've always felt different, never quite fitted in and struggled with school and then work. There was always tiredness to battle with. Does anyone suffer from that? The social chit-chat to understand and to join in with, whilst not hearing thing as all the background noise would drown out the conversation making me miss vital parts and then I appear aloof or away with the faries (been told that by my last work). Oh the meltdowns and running away to hide from my building up emotions and my lack of understanding why i couldn't be like everyone else. Normal! Yes those are the words I use, normal, cause I have never felt normal. The pieces always not quite fitting into the normal category. No thats not me, me - I'm shy, have selective mutism, emotional and struggle to keep up in a work environment. Often being picked on and forced out of a job because I don't fit!
I love to write and often write down my feelings to others, causing a lot of upset and misunderstanding because I don't understand why I can't be like them and then people shout at me! Oh the shouting! It hurts me alot. The criticising and jeering because I'm different! Yes I'm different! I'm autistic! But to say that, how do you say it to someone?
