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Problems with self image

Daniel

Having read the recent threads on Utopia, and Tom's piece of writing about an experience at a hairdressers, I can see that many people seem to have an issue with their self image,

I do not like mirrors, and have moved the ones in mine and my partners bedroom onto walls where its not easy to see them (Much to her annoyance). I see a lot of other people with similar issues with mirrors.

One of my traits that I have had pointed out is my apparent lack of fashion sense. Its not so much of a lack, but a missing part of my whole life view. I seem to have very little sense of my outward projection for other people. I can go out to work with scruffy hair and creased shirts without knowing or realising. I do appreciate that I work in an office and sometimes see customers and management, but I almost always require my partner making my hair look acceptable etc.

A good example of how far this goes happened 2 years ago. My work do a lot of community work, and we were recognized with a nomination in the countie's business awards. It was a dinner jacket / formal occasion, and as I had done quite a lot towards a specifc project I was invited to go. I was not sure whether to go but my partner said I should as I deserved to. My manager said I would need to hire a formal dinner suit, and said I should get fitted out.

I went to a suit hire shop with my manager (who took a photo of what sort of thing I needed). A very nice lady started asking me questions ad speaking to me about my clothes. After around 5 minutes she stopped speaking to me and instead spoke to my manager. I had been demoted to a human manakin, as it had become apparant that my knowledge on clothes was woefully inadequate. After 25 minutes I was looking very dapper (I admit I didnt think I could look that smart).

The event went really well, and everyone there from my work were amazed I turn out so well. I felt very uncomfortable, and well out of my comfort zone, but I also felt like I had earned the right to be there. My wardrobe is very designer low, and if 'George' by Asda doesn't count then its designer free. I own 3 pairs of shoes - 1 pair of trainers for all the time, 1 smart black pair that sit under my desk at work and 1 pair of steel toecaps, also at work for visiting specific places that require them.

Does anyone else have issues like this with self image? It is one of the easiest ways people spot I opperate differently to them, as it affects first impressions, social interaction and manages to differentiate me before I even open my mouth. 

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I'm senior enough to be out of uniform at work. I choose to wear uniform because it's easier and less stressful. My next move (interview next week) might give me a few challenges on remaining in uniform but I'm already mulling a middle ground.

    When I realised part of the NT game involved clothing I decided to research it and ended up getting a colour palette and a clothing fit assessment done. It cost around the equivalent of £250 but was worth every penny. Now I have rules for clothing and it doesn't get purchased unless it fits the rules.

    I'm fortunate (?) enough to have terrific skin and an allergic reaction to a very common ingredient in cosmetics, so I have the excuse of that why I can't wear makeup. I'm mulling getting eyeliner tattooing done and possibly lip line too but that will only happen if I have to go to other organisations outside our region regularly as part of my role...again looking at ways to fit in without having a big fuss to attend to it.

    My lovely hairdresser (OK, he's actually a barber and I'm one of very few female clients) understands that my hair might occasionally see a brush and will only get blow dried if I'm worried about getting cold walking from the gym to my office. No products (bless him he does try to find one that doesn't turn my stomach over texture) and the first thing he told me this time was "we've got online booking, so you won't have to sound stressed when you try to book."

    It's funny about mirrors. The gym I go to has mirrors to check your posture on particular exercises, I don't wear my glasses in there and it means if I have to check posture I'm able to look without seeing details.

    I've gotten to the point I can enjoy SD20s pleasure at clothes shopping but I honestly prefer SD16 who is so much easier to shop with other than bra shopping.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I'm senior enough to be out of uniform at work. I choose to wear uniform because it's easier and less stressful. My next move (interview next week) might give me a few challenges on remaining in uniform but I'm already mulling a middle ground.

    When I realised part of the NT game involved clothing I decided to research it and ended up getting a colour palette and a clothing fit assessment done. It cost around the equivalent of £250 but was worth every penny. Now I have rules for clothing and it doesn't get purchased unless it fits the rules.

    I'm fortunate (?) enough to have terrific skin and an allergic reaction to a very common ingredient in cosmetics, so I have the excuse of that why I can't wear makeup. I'm mulling getting eyeliner tattooing done and possibly lip line too but that will only happen if I have to go to other organisations outside our region regularly as part of my role...again looking at ways to fit in without having a big fuss to attend to it.

    My lovely hairdresser (OK, he's actually a barber and I'm one of very few female clients) understands that my hair might occasionally see a brush and will only get blow dried if I'm worried about getting cold walking from the gym to my office. No products (bless him he does try to find one that doesn't turn my stomach over texture) and the first thing he told me this time was "we've got online booking, so you won't have to sound stressed when you try to book."

    It's funny about mirrors. The gym I go to has mirrors to check your posture on particular exercises, I don't wear my glasses in there and it means if I have to check posture I'm able to look without seeing details.

    I've gotten to the point I can enjoy SD20s pleasure at clothes shopping but I honestly prefer SD16 who is so much easier to shop with other than bra shopping.

Children