I hope I don't upset anyone with this post. if so I'm sorry. I just want to know if I am alone in this.
A discussion on a thread on another forum got me thinking. I am a 51 year old female and I don't go to funerals. well, that's not strictly true, I have been to 3, no, 4... in my life. The last one was my ex partner, more than 10 years ago.
I find negative emotions really difficult to deal with. I won't cry in front of anyone. My husband has only ever seen me cry twice - once when our son got arrested, and once when our cat got euthanised.
I cry a lot when I'm on my own, usually at films, or happy things like DIY SOS on the telly. If other people cry (on the tv) it makes me cry and I don't really know why. but that's in private. Public is different. I find the negative emotions at funerals completely overwhelming. I spend the whole time saying to myself 'don't cry, don't cry, don't cry', I eat sweets, swig my water, play the alphabet game, (when you listen to the person speaking to hear a word beginning with 'a', then when you have heard one you listen for a word beginning with 'b' etc. that way, it looks like you are listening but you are focussing on the actual words, not the content), anything to stop myself crying.
I cried at my ex partners funeral and I just could not stop. I probably cried continuously for around 2 hours. Boy did I have a headache the next day! I was so embarrassed, it was horrible.
Plus I don't totally get the point of funerals. You can't 'say goodbye' to someone if they are dead, well you can but what's the point, they can't hear you. Funerals just seem to be there for people to get upset and then have a party?
How do others on hear find funerals?