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Article in The Daily Mail - views?

Lotus

I just read an article on the daily mail website about an autistic young man called Julius Lette who is an actor. His mother reports how it was suggested by two other mothers with autistic sons (on this website) that they each should   find a prostitute for their sons to experience "the joy of sex" as she put it. She even drove around looking for one until she thought better of it!

It appears that this poor deluded woman, driven to despair when her son appeared to lose all confidence due to not being able to find a girlfriend, seemed to think that sex with a stranger would give him some confidence. I'm a female Aspie so I can't speak from a male viewpoint, but from what I've heard from Aspie men, I believe that most would only want to have sex with someone who loves them - how can having sex with someone who is paid to do it raise confidence? And would they not get attached to her and then be upset that the attachment was not reciprocal?

This is a very personal issue, and I don't feel that this woman had the right to either try to buy someone to have sex with her son or to write about it in a national newspaper - even if it is supposedly to raise awareness about autism and how disabled people have a need for sex and relationships too (being described as "disabled" makes my blood boil!) 

If any autistic adults reading this have a view about this article I would be interested to hear what you think. Maybe parents of autistic young people might read your comments and gain more insight into how to better support their sons - and daughters too (funny how nobody worries if they are not having sex??)

Parents

  • Uhm. ASD mum of three here.

    I think this is utterly ludicrous on the mothers part, & quite frankly terrible parenting!

    She is making assumptions about what her son wants/ needs, because some other mothers 'suggested' it.
    Plus being the mother of a child on the spectrum, surely she should know that ASD saying of- "if you've met one person on the spectrum, you've met ONE person on the spectrum!"
    i.e. if the sons of those other mothers actually wanted to have sex for the sake of having sex, then the fact that they share the same condition as her son does not instantly mean her son will also want the same things.

    I actually support sex workers, believe it or not, I think they should be given more rights in order to protect them (but that's a completely different discussion). I have no qualms with sex work, although I don't agree when it's 'illegal' as it instantly becomes dangerous for the women/ men involved. 

    That being said, hiring someone to have sex with her son will not boost his confidence in the slightest. Does she not think that her son may interpret this as 'my mum knows I will never get a girlfriend, so she has to pay someone just to sleep with me'
    Or; looking at the other end of the scale, lets say her son does want to have sex but he doesn't know how to approach the situation. He gets to sleep with a prostitute, but then comes to the conclusion that the only way he will ever be able to experience that act again is to pay for it.

    Also, from what I gather there has been no mention if this is even what the son wants. I've seen it quite a few times where people on the spectrum aren't even interested in having a relationship, & even those who are, it's not just so they can hop in the sack & do the nasty the first chance they get, it's because they want compansionship & someone to dote over, sex is just a plus. 

    Of course, I cannot speak for all on the spectrum. I guess the point is, hiring a prostitute, based on an assumption you've made about your son, is an awful idea. Instead of focusing on whether or not you can get your kid laid, why not take time to help him learn how to approach someone he's interested in, or help him find a date? There's plenty of dating websites out there, some even specificallt designed for people who have mental conditions etc. 
    Personally I think that mum needs a slap.

  • in reply to Autistic Introvert

    Also. Putting this kind of crap in a national newspaper, with names, photos of the young man, & then going on to mention how she's written a book. Yeah; really f*cking classy.

    Sorry to be rude or aggressive, but the more I think about it.... This has legitimately wound me up. This genuinely does not seem to be for the benefit of the son, or anyone on the spectrum when it comes to 'awareness', it just seems like a terrible attempt of the mother trying to advertise herself & rides the coat tails of her sons condition in order to shine a light on herself.

  • in reply to Autistic Introvert

    I agree is it the mum thinking what her son wants, did she ask him if he wants sex with a prostitute. I can't see how this will do anything for the son, except make him think the only way he can have sex/intimacy with anyone is to pay for it. Tho this is kind of forced on the prostitute as she's only doing it for the money, or worst case she's sold into sex slavery by a pimp, and he takes the money. How does the mum know or not if the woman has been trafficked? To me it's more of a business transaction than about any kind of love.

    I would prefer to see legal prostitution, at least that way the sex workers would have some protection.


    Personally I think the young man would be better going for The Undateables, OK I know that's not a dating agency as such, tho it does follow people with mental or physical disabilities as they seek love. He'd be better off siging up with such an agency!!!

  • in reply to Former Member

    Exactly, this was something else I was thinking.

    Her son clearly wants a relationship; someone he can feel close to, spend time with, be affectionate with etc. He wants someone he can love & be loved back.
    A sex worker has a job to do, & that is to please someone physically. Despite the physical nature of their job title, it's just work to them. They aren't there to show you affection or make you feel loved, they're just there to make you feel pleasure physically, get paid & then be on their way. To be frank; getting to close to a client could be potentially dangerous, so it would make sense that no 'affection' or adoration is displayed, in order to keep the sex worker safe from harm from potentially jealous clients.

    It would be like going to see your GP about a bad back; & expecting them to be affectionate & give you a hug etc. You just don't expect that, they're a doctor & have a specific job to do. 
    So for this mum to think that her sons 'needs' would be fulfilled with one visit from a sex worker is absolutely ridiculous. & it makes me wonder if she truly understands the deeply emotional aspect that comes with being on the spectrum, & how on earth will he handle that situation if he struggles to even talk to anyone he is interested in? I could honestly see that situation being an absolute train wreck, & her son will be the one to suffer from it.

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  • in reply to Former Member

    Exactly, this was something else I was thinking.

    Her son clearly wants a relationship; someone he can feel close to, spend time with, be affectionate with etc. He wants someone he can love & be loved back.
    A sex worker has a job to do, & that is to please someone physically. Despite the physical nature of their job title, it's just work to them. They aren't there to show you affection or make you feel loved, they're just there to make you feel pleasure physically, get paid & then be on their way. To be frank; getting to close to a client could be potentially dangerous, so it would make sense that no 'affection' or adoration is displayed, in order to keep the sex worker safe from harm from potentially jealous clients.

    It would be like going to see your GP about a bad back; & expecting them to be affectionate & give you a hug etc. You just don't expect that, they're a doctor & have a specific job to do. 
    So for this mum to think that her sons 'needs' would be fulfilled with one visit from a sex worker is absolutely ridiculous. & it makes me wonder if she truly understands the deeply emotional aspect that comes with being on the spectrum, & how on earth will he handle that situation if he struggles to even talk to anyone he is interested in? I could honestly see that situation being an absolute train wreck, & her son will be the one to suffer from it.

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