post - diagnosis with ASD Aspergers as older adult

And who are all those people whose faces are in the bar along the top? Simply people who publicly posted to the group? And people who don't post, don't show up there?

I don't trust Facebook. There are only two types of info, info that is out, and info that will be out. Don't worry about me not joining, I'll think about it for a while.

Hi I had originally set the group up with 'closed' settings so no-one can see the comments but changed it after comments on here. 

Do you think it should go back to closed?  Is there any other way you could join a support network comfortably?

I know some people do use additional persona on places like facebook, could be tricky but a solution?

Face book doesn't alert anyone to who's in what group....if people are intent on searching you out on a group They may eventually find you [I'm guessing]....It dosnt say on your page what groups you are in....So unless someone was hellbent on spending days on facebook doing searches..it is unlikely in my opinion.

Is it possible to join a group without Facebook publicly alerting everyone (e.g. employer, colleagues, ...)?

brank spanking new, please add stuff and let me know what you think is useful, helpful, desirable...

www.facebook.com/.../

Hi,

I got so frustrated at the lack of services for me as a woman on the spectrum I'm setting up my own.  I'm building a website and fb page.

I'm going to have to set up an autistic organisation so that we can have meetings locally (Manchester) for women (including anyone who identifies as female) and on the spectrum.

Online and fb network open for women anywhere!  I'll try to make it findable if you search for it.

All the best,

Tara

yes well said !! have been trawling the net for 2 days for info on "aspergers and older women".

Also groups on facebook for above.

My name on facebook is Diatribe Mockingbird...please contact me if anyone sets up group there so that I can join.

Diana aka blingkingcat

kittythehare said:

 There must be so many folk who are diagnosed as adults - often at middle-age and beyond - and are then kind of left to get on with it. I appreciate that we have had many years to find our individual coping strategies but, nevertheless, I'm sure I'm not the only one who could do with some sort of follow-on to the mixed-blessing of diagnosis

I think there's a feeling that if you've managed to cope so far then just go on coping, but the stress of constantly using these coping strategies can result in physical problems as you get older such as high lood-pressure, IBS and troubles with digestion. 

When people actually reach retirement it's clear from  posts here and on other boards that many find they suddenly have nothing to fill their days if they are living on their own and even those with a partner discover that difficulties may arise in personal relationships once two people - one of whom is on  the spectrum - are thrown  together 24/7.

Looking on the bright side, as more people of middle-age and beyond recognize what has been the problem all their lives pressure will mount to make diagnosis more easily available for those in this age range and once there is a sizeable number of angry and articlulate people demanding action hopefully more attention will be paid to our problems.  

Hi,

I was diagnosed last week at 41 and after the struggle to get the diagnosis it's all gone a bit quiet. 

Thanks for the info on autscape 

Hi there,

I am also a woman with Aspergers diagnosed in my fifties and was living in Dumfries and Galloway for a while.  There are other aspies out there, the problem is finding them and connecting with them.  Further north there is a very good self help group ARGH - autistic rights group highlands (great name don't you think?) http://www.arghighland.co.uk/ . I know someone who has set up self help groups in the south east of England, simply by contacting doctors and psychologists who might have contact with people with ASC to advertise the group http://www.gaspergers.com/.  Women from another planet is edited by Jean Kearns Miller.  You also might find useful a booklet published by ASK - autistic spectrum kiwis, which details adults responses to diagnosis, it is available via their website http://www.asknz.net/.

There is also a relatively inexpensive annual conference/retreat run in the UK by and for autistic adults, some people come from Scotland to this (and from as far afield as New Zealand and Israel) http://www.autscape.org/

Good luck on your journey - I for one have found the diagnosis helpful, and have met many people due to it.

I'll certainly take at look at the links, thanks. I was pleased to read somewhere that NAS are looking to develop their work for adult Aspies. There must be so many folk who are diagnosed as adults - often at middle-age and beyond - and are then kind of left to get on with it. I appreciate that we have had many years to find our individual coping strategies but, nevertheless, I'm sure I'm not the only one who could do with some sort of follow-on to the mixed-blessing of diagnosis.

It would, of course, be great if Societies could offer more in the way of seminars etc in SW Scotland and other far-flung corners of the UK...even Carlisle would be more accessible than Birmingham or York.

Thanks for your reply DaisyGirl. You're right, there is very little it seems for adult Aspies. I am aware of there being lots for children (rightly so) on the ASD spectrum, but I have yet to find any direct support for an older woman, recently diagnosed and living out in the wilds of Galloway! I am grateful to NAS for the resources, forum etc but sometimes I feel I just need to chat face to face (avoiding too much eye contact!!) with someone who understands, who also struggles at work, who also feels isolated and probably always will. My mood swings are terrible at times and so hard to explain to myself, let alone anyone else. I think social groups could work, they would maybe require very careful planning to ensurethe members were happy with the format.

Bests Kate

Thanks so much for your reply. Its a mixed bag, getting the diagnosis - on the one hand its a relief, but on the other its kind of scary.One big thing for me is finding that so many little details, ways of thinking or perceiving, are shared by other Aspies. I am currently reading an interesting book called Women From Another Planet (can't recall the editors name as I'm at work and don't have the book with me...) and one contributor was talking about being very aware of rocks, trees, water etc singing to her. This led to other women saying similar things,  intense relationships with animals and features of the landscape and so on. Well, I was astounded, to find that it isn't just me!! Its good to know that you are out there, somewhere not too far away (I'm in Dumfries & Galloway). Maybe we should start a wee branch for ourselves?! Apparently there used to be a South of Scotland branch somewhere but it folded... another scary thought!

Best wishes, Kate

Many thanks for your reply. I don't know quite what I'd want to talk about - nothing specific but sometimes its just good to be able to offload!

Hi Daisygirl, 

The idea of allowing private messages or contact details to be shared through the community is something we continually review. Right now it's something that'll require a prolonged process to approve but that doesn't mean we're not looking to develop this side of things, we are. 

One option may be our e-befriending service that does work kind of like what you describe  - 

http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/residential-community-and-social-support/social-support/befriending-and-mentoring-new.aspx

Another possibility may be to look at the penpal section of Asperger United. You may want to download the latest issue and see if that might be close to what you're looking for

http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/our-publications/asperger-united.aspx

[Edited to provide up-to-date link - Alex R]

I too live in a remote area of Scotland (much further north), and there are no support groups etc. anywhere near me. I think the isolation of adults with Aspergers is a real issue, I would love to speak to some other Aspergirls (of all ages). I had hoped that the NAS community would have a section for adults to have e-pals, so that there would be a chance for Aspies to form their own network of friends, and talk one-to-one.

There just doesn't seem t be anything like this available anywhere on any of the forums and websites, but it is such an obvious way to be able to get new friends. The only things available are for those looking for relationships, which is not at all what I want. Aspergers United has a pen pal section, but it is very limited, and I think most people would prefer the safety of starting to build friendships by e-mail, then choosing when to move to phone, and addresses.

Perhaps one of the mods could say whether this might be an option for the future? Especially as there is no chance for social groups in most of Scotland outside the central belt, and in any case would many Aspies want to go to a social group?

Hi there

Having lived with under the label of depression for all these years, I just knew something wasn't right with this diagnosis so, after a long struggle to get a second opinion, I was finally diagnosed with Aspergers just last week at the age of 50.

It is a relief for me also just to be able to understand myself better, although it's always going to be difficult to get others to understand.

I too live in a very isolated area in SW Scotland so I have no-one to ask about how to discuss these things ie what to say, what not to say!?!

Hi there.

Although i am a little younger than you (23) I was only diagnosed with Asperger's last September after struggling at school and dancing all my life. Also like you there are no support things that close to me although I would still probably find them easier than you as you appear to be in a more secluded spot.

Would you like to talk about anything on here?

Anne.