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Feeling stupid?

jeeves3

Hi,

I'm fairly newish to the forum. 

I just feel quite depressed at the moment. I feel as if the world is like the sparkly stuff in a paperweight and my aspergers is the glass - im always on the outside looking in. I wouldn't say I have autism to an extent where it would be noticeable with work colleagues or something, but it is noticeable with my family, whom I live with. I find it very difficult and upsetting most of the time because my aspergers means that I can't understand sometimes why people get mad with me, or how I've made them mad at me, so I can avoid doing so next time. My parents don't help in these situations because they get frustrated themselves and start talking to me in a derogatory way and speaking slowly, as if I were a child. Coupled with the fact that I seem to have a poor memory, I lose confidence because despite my attempts to become better educated I seem to always be two steps behind everyone else on the knowledge front. All of this combined just leaves me feeling very depressed the majority of the time. I don't really talk to anyone outside my family as I'm rubbish at making friends as well. Basically I can't do anything. At all. I would love to be able to have friends, have a great job and be a much more confident, thin person who is good and talented at something, but I guess life just isn't like that. Sorry. Just a bit upset at the moment.

wonder if anyone can relate.

  • I often feel rather stupid because,to put it bluntly, I totally suck at a lot of things. The only thing I'm reasonably good at are high range IQ tests. My  manual/practical/technical skills are poor. I get quite a lot of help from my (s) daughter re daily living skills.

  • I relate so well to this. It is like listening to myself when I read this. I even wrote a poem called 'an alien in his own world'. Right now I am a recluse because I fear myself doing or saying something stupid and being ridiculed, humiliated or ostracized, so I keep to myself. Because of my condition I was physically abused by my father, who saw me as an embarrassment.

  • There's no need to be sorry

    I can totally relate to all of what you said, except for the family part and to be honest they shouldn't be treating you like you were 5 years old.  You have said exactly how I've felt for years but couldn't find the words.  I'm a 47 year old female so were not the same there but you should ask them to look at the NAS website to show them that people on the spectrum all have similar difficulties and they should give you a break.

    You sound reasonably young.  There are asperger's social groups you could try in your area, maybe worth looking into, as you will all have similar traits in common and it may help with your self esteem.