Late Diagnosis and Outcome

Hi.

I was diagnosed in March 2017 (only 5 months ago).

I've struggled all my life with being 'different/ weird/ *insert other degrading insult here*'.

It got to the point where a few people in my life put it down to me just being 'stupid', or at times I was just 'trying too hard to be different'. I have an interest in mental conditions anyway, & I happened to stumble across autism in my research many years ago. As most of the information concerned high end autistic children, I didn't think much of it. It wasn't till a short while later that I watched a programme that highlighted the condition on the more high functioning side. I even joked at the time about the similarities between me & those kids, & a short while later I did the online ASD test & scored rather high.

That was when I realised that there was a very high possibility that I had ASD. I researched more into it, & hearing people actually talk about their experiences really hit me like a ton of bricks. So much suddenly made sense, it was like being given a big book of answers to the questions I had through my life, why some things did or didn't happen. Why I struggled so much with some things but excelled in others etc.

I eventually pushed to get a diagnosis because certain people in my life were making things difficult, & I was sick of trying to explain myself. I knew if I had an official diagnosis, then people would actually start taking me seriously.
I had to wait an entire year for my appointment. During that time, I researched more, read more of people's experiences & watched more videos. I lost count the amount of times I was left in floods of tears as I watched videos of people explaining their condition, how it affected them etc. It got to the point where I knew I would just be going to these appointments to get it confirmed & have it placed into my medical records.

But; funnily enough, even when it was finally confirmed, it was still incredibly overwhelming.
I had people completely against me seeking out diagnosis, I wasn't given much support at all during that year as I waited. I felt so alone, & frightened. I was full of doubt, anger, fear. It exaserbated my depression something chronic, & having those two psychiatrists say to me that I was definitely autistic... It felt like an alternate reality for a few moments. I struggled to keep my tears at bay, & I felt such overwhelming relief.

That being said, I am still discovering & learning things about myself. It's only been a few months, & even after all the research I did, I'm still coming to terms with a lot of things... I'm also cutting myself some slack & not being quite so hateful to myself anymore. 

I know it's going to take time, & I imagine it's going to take quite a while for you too. Either way, good luck with your journey :)

Hi.

I was diagnosed in March 2017 (only 5 months ago).

I've struggled all my life with being 'different/ weird/ *insert other degrading insult here*'.

It got to the point where a few people in my life put it down to me just being 'stupid', or at times I was just 'trying too hard to be different'. I have an interest in mental conditions anyway, & I happened to stumble across autism in my research many years ago. As most of the information concerned high end autistic children, I didn't think much of it. It wasn't till a short while later that I watched a programme that highlighted the condition on the more high functioning side. I even joked at the time about the similarities between me & those kids, & a short while later I did the online ASD test & scored rather high.

That was when I realised that there was a very high possibility that I had ASD. I researched more into it, & hearing people actually talk about their experiences really hit me like a ton of bricks. So much suddenly made sense, it was like being given a big book of answers to the questions I had through my life, why some things did or didn't happen. Why I struggled so much with some things but excelled in others etc.

I eventually pushed to get a diagnosis because certain people in my life were making things difficult, & I was sick of trying to explain myself. I knew if I had an official diagnosis, then people would actually start taking me seriously.
I had to wait an entire year for my appointment. During that time, I researched more, read more of people's experiences & watched more videos. I lost count the amount of times I was left in floods of tears as I watched videos of people explaining their condition, how it affected them etc. It got to the point where I knew I would just be going to these appointments to get it confirmed & have it placed into my medical records.

But; funnily enough, even when it was finally confirmed, it was still incredibly overwhelming.
I had people completely against me seeking out diagnosis, I wasn't given much support at all during that year as I waited. I felt so alone, & frightened. I was full of doubt, anger, fear. It exaserbated my depression something chronic, & having those two psychiatrists say to me that I was definitely autistic... It felt like an alternate reality for a few moments. I struggled to keep my tears at bay, & I felt such overwhelming relief.

That being said, I am still discovering & learning things about myself. It's only been a few months, & even after all the research I did, I'm still coming to terms with a lot of things... I'm also cutting myself some slack & not being quite so hateful to myself anymore. 

I know it's going to take time, & I imagine it's going to take quite a while for you too. Either way, good luck with your journey :)

It's been reassuring when reading about how other people struggled and put it down to them thinking they're thick or stupid. Ive given myself so much grief for not grasping what others do with relative ease. Knowing it's beyond my control helps in a way but its still frustrating.