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Advise please

Logic

Hello, I am new to this forum and would like to ask advise from adults who are diagnosed  with asd. Do you think it is better if children understand their diagnosis early, we are in the process of getting my 11 year old daughter diagnosed. I am getting some critisim saying I am labelling my child and this will be negative for her. My gut instinct is that she is a clever individual and that if she has the right support from us she will better understand why she feels the way she does. Would you have preferred to know or would you have prefered not to know as a child? Thank you for your help :)

Parents

  • Definitely tell her, because in the long run at least she will know you were honest with her and kept nothing hidden. I was not diagnosed until age 21, and admittedly I would not have accepted I had any condition at your daughter's age because I wanted to fit in and be considered 'normal', but with hindsight I wish the school had been more proactive and that they had got me assessed for asperger's.

    I think that how you describe the condition is the most important thing. Call it a condition and not a disorder or a disability, because although it is a disability, a child might not want to accept they are disabled, mainly because it is not a very nice word. I accept I have a disability now, but whenever my parents used to suggest I was disabled I would get all defensive because as far as I was concerned I was 'normal'!; children find it hard to understand nuances. Tell her that asperger's syndrome makes her a very clever young women with great gifts, which people without the condition don't have: she has a logical and original mind. But this mind can get overloaded because it is extra sensitive to outside stimuli. Tell her that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and that her weakness happens to be social skills, just like some people find other things difficult. Framed in this way, she is less likely to get defensive and is more likely to accept her aspergers.

Reply

  • Definitely tell her, because in the long run at least she will know you were honest with her and kept nothing hidden. I was not diagnosed until age 21, and admittedly I would not have accepted I had any condition at your daughter's age because I wanted to fit in and be considered 'normal', but with hindsight I wish the school had been more proactive and that they had got me assessed for asperger's.

    I think that how you describe the condition is the most important thing. Call it a condition and not a disorder or a disability, because although it is a disability, a child might not want to accept they are disabled, mainly because it is not a very nice word. I accept I have a disability now, but whenever my parents used to suggest I was disabled I would get all defensive because as far as I was concerned I was 'normal'!; children find it hard to understand nuances. Tell her that asperger's syndrome makes her a very clever young women with great gifts, which people without the condition don't have: she has a logical and original mind. But this mind can get overloaded because it is extra sensitive to outside stimuli. Tell her that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and that her weakness happens to be social skills, just like some people find other things difficult. Framed in this way, she is less likely to get defensive and is more likely to accept her aspergers.

Children
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