Hello all, I am 52 years old, I am on my way to getting a HFA diagnosis, I write things like this because it has helped me over the years, this is an excerpt from one piece, I will leave a post of one called AUTIE AT FOURTY some where on the site, I hope you all enjoy, regards Hendrow.
DOWN IT PRESSED.
I need to be with my own kind of the same mind, they are not easy to find in this day and time,
I need to be understood for my own good, like I thought they would, like I know they should,
I need to see what there is to gain, learn to lose the pain, break the chain,
Not go insane, see that my life is not in vain, there’s a chemical storm in my brain,
I feel like I am nothing just end the pain, cos I am not bluffing,
Can you decide what I feel inside, I have lost my purpose and sacrificed my pride,
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I try to cry, but I can’t even weep,
I have never known a pain so deep, that makes me wish my heart would not beat,
Down in the dirt, boy do I hurt, what is my life worth?
You go first it can’t get any worse, prepare the hearse,
What I feel is surely real, don’t make a meal,
Get on an even keel, whats the big deal,
What? Who is faking, what profit am I making?
My heart, soul, and mind and body aching,
Life-taking, sleep or waking,
Man-trapping, kidnapping, what is happening?
Strength-sapping, no foot tapping or hand clapping,
I am not in to blood letting, I do know though, about sweating.
And fretting, friend vetting, betting you deserve the bad you are getting,
So when I fell to the ground did it make a sound?
It didn't - that’s why there is no-one around,
But when I think back, I can’t quite be sure,
Am I alone because I won’t answer the door,
Won’t open the post, or pick up the phone,
Won’t talk to anyone – Why am I alone?
