Hi, thanks so much for taking the time to read this.
My 29 year old brother lives with my father a few hours away from me and he is ruining my father's life. He spends his days locked away in his room on the internet, not communicating at all, and has alcoholic binges which can last for over a week at a time, during which he is verbally and increasingly physically abusive to my father. He has also been abusive via messaging to people on the internet, with some dark and disturbing thoughts which I worry could make him dangerous when he is in the midst of a drinking session. When he is sober, he is withdrawn, quiet, and at times, somewhat amicable.
My father is growing older whilst my brother is growing stronger, and I am deeply concerned about his safety. I can see the emotional and financial pressures of dealing with my brother, which shows no signs of improvement, is making my father incredibly depressed. My brother refuses to speak with my mother and hasn't seen her in many years (he avoids contact with anyone unless essential genereally).
My brother has never been diagnosed with autism but to those around him it is quite apparent (and has been for a long time before the alcoholism begun). He won't engage with help in any way (refuses to go to the doctors, psyhiatrist, support groups, job centre for support money...).
There have been incidents involving the police, hospital stays for alcohol recovery etc. and my father has asked him to leave the house a few of times, but his sense of duty for his son is so strong that he has always taken him back within a day and would not ever allow him to be homeless despite the physical violence. He is completely trapped. My father is even reluctant to go to work (which means he has to be is in a different city or country for a few days at a time) out of fear of what my brother will be doing.
Any advice would be hugely appreciated. I am desparate for there to be a change in this dynamic for the sake of both my father and my brother.