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Autism and "Emotional Intelligence" in the Workplace... thoughts?

Aspidancer1986

I have a good role, which I enjoy, and find challenging, which again I enjoy. However, my biggest downfall is my ability to control my emotions in certain situations. 

For example, I take things literally, too personally, or "over react" in situations which others may find trivial. My only social relationships (or friendships) are the people who I work with so if I ever vent, it's with them, which unfortunately is seen as bringing my colleagues into matters which shouldn't concern them. 

My main issue which people tend to notice, is that when my emotions become confused or overwhelmed, or I don't know how to express myself, I cry. I've just had a meeting regarding something I was frustrated about as I left the office last night, and it was mentioned that in the past 4-5 months I've ended up crying, and I need to learn to stop taking things so personally etc etc etc.. which just made me MORE frustrated so I cried more!

It's in my diagnosis report that I have difficulties expressing emotions in the correct way. It's in my Occupational Health report I believe. But I feel as though my emotional state is forever going to be the deciding point of what people think of me - and that's getting me down. 

Does anyone else feel this way or experienced anything similar? More to the point does anyone have any advice on controlling emotions when you have a condition which already makes it ridiculously difficult to do so?

People keep telling me I need help - but I've done the counselling, CBT, hypnotherapy, antidepressants, etc etc etc. I've always tried to help myself too but I just don't know what other help I can get. 

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    The first step in dealing with this is knowing that this is a difficulty for you. My interpretation of your post is that you are suffering from stress and that you are unable to let things go and to recognise that there is only so much stuff that you can and should control. Other people have their own issues and special desires etc and you simply can't, and really shouldn't, try to make them do exactly what you want them to do.

    If you know that you struggle with emotional intelligence (me too!) then you firstly have to accept that this is something that you will never be a great master of. You have to accept yourself for what your are rather than criticising yourself for what you are not. EI can improve with patience - but it needs time to develop the skills required and you need ways to reduce your stress.

    I am finding that now, three years after diagnosis, I am regularly struck with feelings of empathy that I never used to get. I think I was always too busy and stressed out to let the stories on the radio etc sink in and have any impact on me.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    The first step in dealing with this is knowing that this is a difficulty for you. My interpretation of your post is that you are suffering from stress and that you are unable to let things go and to recognise that there is only so much stuff that you can and should control. Other people have their own issues and special desires etc and you simply can't, and really shouldn't, try to make them do exactly what you want them to do.

    If you know that you struggle with emotional intelligence (me too!) then you firstly have to accept that this is something that you will never be a great master of. You have to accept yourself for what your are rather than criticising yourself for what you are not. EI can improve with patience - but it needs time to develop the skills required and you need ways to reduce your stress.

    I am finding that now, three years after diagnosis, I am regularly struck with feelings of empathy that I never used to get. I think I was always too busy and stressed out to let the stories on the radio etc sink in and have any impact on me.

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