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Being Yourself vs Fitting In

Paddy

Hello everyone,

I would like to ask everyone who wants to comment how important you feel it is to "fit in" with those around you/society in general. Do you feel it is important to force yourself to go out of your comfort zone, or do you find it more beneficial to stay within your comfort zone to maintain happiness/contentment in your life? 

Other than family, for example, I am perfectly at ease, indeed, often blissfully happy to be completely alone in my house. I feel no compunction to get out and make friends, find a girlfriend, have kids, or any of the other things which society deems a normal desire for a person to have, and I think it has caused me far more stress in the past trying to attain those things that most people want in an attempt to be "normal".

I have read other parts of the forum and noticed that some people feel loneliness and a desire to fit in, but, I feel no loneliness whatsoever, and could quite happily go months without seeing anyone. Is this a common trend as you get older, or is it something that's peculiar to me?

I always like to ask these questions in an attempt to understand myself, and other people better, so I would be very grateful for any comments.

Parents

  • Hi Paddy,

    I definitely don't feel it's important to fit in, and like you, apart from family I really don't have an interest in meeting people.  I've felt this way since I was a kid - my obsession when I was a boy was tape recorders, and nothing else!  Throughout childhood, I only had one other friend the same age who had a similar interest/obsession.  Since those days (back in the 70's), my interest has been any technology "of the day", e.g. radios, cameras, and nowadays PC, smartphones, apps, and such.  Because I enjoyed these pastimes so much I never wanted to fit in somewhere else, both during my childhood and I still have felt that throughout adulthood too.

    I think it's a personal thing - some people might want to socialize more, but I don't feel any need to. Perhaps it's because we are in a situation where we are still at home, therefore have contact with others (i.e. our families).

    I certainly feel very vulnerable outside my comfort zone, so am happy to stay within it!

Reply

  • Hi Paddy,

    I definitely don't feel it's important to fit in, and like you, apart from family I really don't have an interest in meeting people.  I've felt this way since I was a kid - my obsession when I was a boy was tape recorders, and nothing else!  Throughout childhood, I only had one other friend the same age who had a similar interest/obsession.  Since those days (back in the 70's), my interest has been any technology "of the day", e.g. radios, cameras, and nowadays PC, smartphones, apps, and such.  Because I enjoyed these pastimes so much I never wanted to fit in somewhere else, both during my childhood and I still have felt that throughout adulthood too.

    I think it's a personal thing - some people might want to socialize more, but I don't feel any need to. Perhaps it's because we are in a situation where we are still at home, therefore have contact with others (i.e. our families).

    I certainly feel very vulnerable outside my comfort zone, so am happy to stay within it!

Children
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