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Advice please

Kozmik

Hi all, this is my first post I'm after some advice please.- I'm 37 with 4 young children, iv always been anti social to the point of not really having any friends Going out to socialise terrifies me & I haven't been out socially for several years, I do enjoy my own time with my dogs. I'm working 60/70 hours per week and come home 5-7 pm extremely stressed this is obviously having a negative effect on my young children. Occasionally I do suffer bouts of rage which results in me breaking things. I was advised to do a autism online test which I scored quite high in, my question is do I seek drs advice & what is likely to happen? Will I be able to improve my life/work balance - I just want to be able to play with my kids without being stressed/tired/grumpy. Thanks

  • Hi

    I imagine you have your hands full, working 60/70 hours p.w. and looking after 4 kids. It's no wonder you are under stress and snap occasionally.

    I expect if you went to your GP their priority will be to treat your anxiety. Whilst medication can be offered, if yours is considered mild they may well suggest talking therapy. This was offered to me, but I had to go through separate IAPT services, who booked me in for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I had about 6 sessions, which got me to keep a stress diary, then look at my goals and what stops me from achieving them. Can't remember what else. Ultimately, I found the strategy useful in helping me to cope better with my stress, but at the time I think I was too stressed to apply the techniques very well. It takes time and really its about getting you to find the coping strategies that work for you, which you take forward.

    I also had sessions with a counsellor, which I loved because it allowed me to talk and talk. That got things out of my system until the next session.

    Eventually, I was encouraged by a colleague to look up Asperger Syndrome. I took online tests and also scored high. My GP was not well versed on autism, but did make a referral for a diagnosis when I explained my reasons. Some people are met with resistance. 9 months later, after a number of questionaires, a few interviews, including one with my elderly mum, my AS was diagnosed. That was a couple of years ago and I now realise that I am always likely to be stressed about something or another. All we can do is try to keep it under control, which doesn't always happen. However, I have become much more positive and try at least to do the things I have always avoided, socialising a bit more at work and valuing a true friend.

    So, I think if you were to look at what stopped you from doing what you want (your goals) and you dealt with those obstacles one by one, you will find that your work/life balance can improve and you can play with your kids, at least for while feeling less stressed (they do have a habit of raising levels again).

    If you get a diagnosis of autism it might be useful in helping you to get some reasonable adjustments at work, which will also ease the pressure on you. A good sleep is also very important.

    Hope I have helped you to decide what to do. Happy to talk more if you wish to.

    All the best