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Really struggling with cleaning/ household tasks

cookies78
over 7 years ago

I have just had a diagnosis of apsergers (with a fair amount of adhd traits too) at 38. I have a long history of depression and anxety. I am struggling most with executive functioning and it is the adhd traits that seem to be causing my the most problems at the moment. I have struggled for so long with keeping my house clean and uncluttered. My house is full of clutter and I am a huge procrastinator, have very low motivation and even if I do actually manage to do some housework I get distracted or can't seem to  do it for long. I get over whelmed by everything that needs to be done but also seem to have an issue with just doing a little bit at a time. 

I have been criticised by my husband and my parents for so long as they just couldn't understand why I found it all so difficult. I wish I could employ a cleaner and someone to help me organise things but I don't have the money. 

Any adivce woulde be much appreciated. I was only diagnosed last week and am still getting my head around it all. 

Parents
  • over 7 years ago

    I used to be terrible at this - procrastination, because where do you start in such a big task??

    But I find it really easy to keep on top of now, I just needed a mental 'tool' to help.

    Here's the tool

    Here's a mindset

    The tool helps me do "crisis cleaning", which is a very quick way of tidying the whole house, focussing on specific tasks in a really quick way. It has 10 steps, I only do a few of them, so maybe try a few and see where it gets you. If you only do one, do step 4. Just having a basket to put things in from one room and move them to another helps enormously.

    The mindset helps enormously to stop it getting back into the mess it was. Michael McIntyre said his wife asks him why he puts his socks near the washbasket, as if that would get them clean, and that maybe she would try putting the dirty dishes near the dishwasher to see if it worked. I use that mindset - putting it away in the proper place instead of just putting it down - all the time! - keeps your house always tidy.

    My other advice is to routinise it. Set aside 30 minutes every Saturday morning 09:30-10:00 and know that in this time you will blitz the house. Measure how long it takes you in case you need to adjust. This isn't a time to be dreaded or avoided, it's just simply a task that needs doing. Take the emotion out of it and make it practical. Make it quick, literally rush around the house so you don't get distracted. If there are other people in the house, get them involved so they each have specific responsibilities and know that, at this time, everyone has to get busy and do their tasks, no excuses, no avoidance - because doing this will help the house and relationships run smoother.

Reply
  • over 7 years ago

    I used to be terrible at this - procrastination, because where do you start in such a big task??

    But I find it really easy to keep on top of now, I just needed a mental 'tool' to help.

    Here's the tool

    Here's a mindset

    The tool helps me do "crisis cleaning", which is a very quick way of tidying the whole house, focussing on specific tasks in a really quick way. It has 10 steps, I only do a few of them, so maybe try a few and see where it gets you. If you only do one, do step 4. Just having a basket to put things in from one room and move them to another helps enormously.

    The mindset helps enormously to stop it getting back into the mess it was. Michael McIntyre said his wife asks him why he puts his socks near the washbasket, as if that would get them clean, and that maybe she would try putting the dirty dishes near the dishwasher to see if it worked. I use that mindset - putting it away in the proper place instead of just putting it down - all the time! - keeps your house always tidy.

    My other advice is to routinise it. Set aside 30 minutes every Saturday morning 09:30-10:00 and know that in this time you will blitz the house. Measure how long it takes you in case you need to adjust. This isn't a time to be dreaded or avoided, it's just simply a task that needs doing. Take the emotion out of it and make it practical. Make it quick, literally rush around the house so you don't get distracted. If there are other people in the house, get them involved so they each have specific responsibilities and know that, at this time, everyone has to get busy and do their tasks, no excuses, no avoidance - because doing this will help the house and relationships run smoother.

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