Hello everyone.
I have not posted on here for a while because of a combination of failing IT issues and hetic life. However I can now confirm that I have received my diagnosis and that I do in fact have Autism Spectrum Disorder.
It was a bit of a rollercoaster in terms of emotions but generally I felt quite euphoric at first - I wanted to run and shout it to the world. Everything just makes sense now and not just for me but my wife and parents too. I got the diagnosis just before a holiday which gave me plenty of time to process it (although I still am and think I will be for a while!). I admit there were doubts and troubling thoughts too, but generally positive ones. I think the first struggles were figuring out who, when and how I wanted to tell people and how to work the many associated labels.
Labels are tricky for me. They do not mean anything to me generally, not just autistic ones, but any in life - I am even not sure about my job title (which seems to be one of the main ways people define themselves - I think mine says very little about me!). However, they do seem necessary. I was told that I had ASD but if I would have been diagnosed earlier it would have been Aspergers. Therefore when disclosing, what do you say? I have kept with autism but this has confused some people which leads to the labels of high functioning and low functioning. I do not really like either of these as everyone is uniquely different. I have decided that the phrase "I am autistic with good cognitive ability" which I read from a book seems more fitting. I hope that seems ok with you guys? I would apprecite any better suggestions though.
So I have disclosed to several people, mainly family and the odd friend. The process of diagnosis has also meant I have had too. Generally the response has been good with the "yeah we always knew somethng like that" but with one family member who was a little negative but that is his issues.
After much deliberating and research I decided to tell my manger and HR at work. I thought this was best as there is one aspect of my job that causes me a lot of problems. They have been amazing about it! They are making the changes I wanted and have been understanding and interested. My manager was pleased I was able to tell him as he says "how could he manage me effectively if he was lacking this crucial bit of information". I am not ready to tell anyone in the actually office yet - I am sure they would not handle it so well. Maybe one day when I have fully processed everything..... and then again maybe not.
I have also disclosed to the DVLA - I like to do things by the book and as it is on their list to notify, I thought it was best to do so.
So what next? I want to engage more with others on the spectrum who may have more understanding of me and hopefully learn how to handle better some of the negatives aspects of who I am (I am going to post another topic on this). I am already starting to think about myself differently now - like I mentioned earlier things make more sense and there seems to be release of pressure. I can not quite put my finger on this though....
Finally I feel even more welcomed here being able to post about my autism after diagnosis. That is not to say I did not before, and that this forum is very welcoming and helpfull to those both on the spectrum, waiting for diagnosis or are neurotypical.
I hope everyone is well and thanks again!
Wellington
