Hi, new here and looking for help recognising behaviour patterns.
My son is 30 but has always been more hard work than his sibling. He was a fractious child who would resist being comforted or cuddled and finally at two years old he was diagnosed with a milk allergy. His behaviour improved when we monitored his lactose levels until he gradually became able to tolerate it. However, he was never a child that liked cuddles and would become antagonistic if his plans were thwarted. Most of this was put down to just wanting his own way.
Throughout his school life there were ups and downs and various mood swings and we learned to walk on eggshells around him - we avoided conflict wherever possible but occasionally there would be explosive outbursts.
In later teens he seemed to develop a way of removing himself when one of these moments was beginning to manifest itself - he'd go to his room to avoid contact with us and not respond if we tried to help.
The outbursts have lessened over the years, but he can be a bit of a hermit at times and seems not to cope if he cannot have his own space. He lives alone and seems content in his own company although he will mix with others quite happily as long as he can 'escape' when he's had enough!
We've noticed that when he comes home on visits if he stays more than four or five days he will sometimes 'flip' and storm out of a room. Usually it is because he feels we aren't listening to his point of view, or that he is in the 'right' and we are 'wrong'.
He is intensly passionate about things that interest him and although he will tolerate other people's interests for a time he will switch off when he's had enough. He's also quite a perfectionist and sometimes gets frustrated trying to get little details just right.
Having read through some of the information on this site I am beginning to see charcteristics in his behaviour that would seem to suggest he may have some level of autistic personality.
I don't think he would ever accept me suggesting this and that he might seek a diagnosis - but what can I do to help him (and me!) cope with and understand his outbursts?
I feel that I have let him down in failing to recognise what may be the cause of his 'problems' until so late in the day - I'm gutted at the thought of how he has perhaps been bottling up all his anxiety and feeling he doesn't quite fit in.
Any help or advice would be most appreciated!
Thank you!
