• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 79 subscribers
  • Views 897 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Advice for a married friend please

FredFII

Hi, I have a good friend who suspects her husband has Asperger's Syndrome. He is becoming increasingly rigid, taking things literally, has no concept of her needs with the kids and much more. She feels there's no way she would ever be able to talk to him about this or get him to  seek a diagnosis, but she wants to try and understand more about what might be casuing the behaviour she sees and to try and find ways to make things better for them both, and their kids. I can offer her some advice as the parent of two Asperger's boys but feel there must be people in this community who are better able to help. Books or wesbite links would be apprecaited as well as the sharing of personal experience. Many thanks in advance.

  • He's stressed at work but has been for years. My friend is finding that increasingly his behaviour is (as she sees it) unusual - very angry, rigid, taking things literally (although she says he has always been like this, its just she's now looking at it in a different light). He's never been a sociable person, but is beoming increasingly withdrawn. He lacks a patience with their kids too. I know all of these things could be down to a NT having a stressful time, but she suspects there's more going on....

  • I don't know how much use this is, but I know that when I find myself becoming more rigid and taking things litteraly its because I'm under pressure/not in a good place, and running low on mental resorces needed to run the aspy to neurotypical emulator.

    So, is he happy? or facing problems besides more autisic driven behaviors?

  • Thanks Emily. My husband is undiagnosed Asperger's too, but we have been together forever and seem to get on just fine (although finding out about him through the diagnosis of our kids does explain a lot of things that have happened in the past :)). I will look up the book you suggest for my friend. Thanks again

  • Try "Asperger's in Love" by someone Aston (sorry the book isn't to hand). My husband has aperger's and routines help. He gets very upset by big changes and they bring out extra or more noticable symptoms.