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Pessimism vs optimism and ASD

Trainspotter

Hi all

This is a bit of a rant and it is not referring to Pessimism to the extent that it causes great anxiety, but to the pessimistic vs optimistic character.

I am constantly labelled a "Pessimist".  I prefer the term "Realist"  Constantly having people supposedly jolly all the time around me I can find annoying. 

I hate this 'glass half empty' thing.  I have told people when they say I'm the 'half empty' person that it depends whether the glass is being emptied or filled..  Example: Do you want a top up.  Answer: No, my glass is only half empty.  That to me is not being negative.  However, if the glass has just been poured and stopped before it is filled:  Why is my glass  only half full? That to me is a negative.

Imagine a news story: "Good news, there was a very bad train crash today but only five people were killed!"  People would be horrified at the insensitivity of that, yet it is the 'optimistic' point of view as many more could have met their demise.

I'm sure there are 'optimistic' people with ASD as well as pessimistic ones.  But why do people insist on putting labels on people and then using it as criticism.  We are what we are!  Some of us try to consider that there may be a downside to some things instead of 'everything will turn out ok'.  Considering that there may be a downside is surely better than being led down an alley with no thought as to what awaits you at the end. 

My 'pessimism' is me and no amount of negative criticism from optimistic people will stop it or 'cure' it!

Parents

  • Optimism is more than seeing life as “half full.” It’s a cognitive style that realistically attributes your successes to factors that you can control. For example, you are optimistic when you perform well on an exam. You believe you were able to do this because you studied hard and put forward your best effort.

    The converse is true for attributions about failure. An optimist does not say, “I’m no good at reading people.” An optimist would say, “I can learn how to understand others’ facial expressions.” This idea is positive, but it’s more than that. It’s specific, skill-oriented, and leaves the door open for change.

    This is not “Pollyanna” thinking that somehow everything will turn out okay; this is a filter for interpreting life’s events that empowers the individual with ASD to take actions that have a positive outcome.


    Furthermore, optimism is not just a personality trait that is either absent or present. People can learn to counteract their pessimistic thoughts with optimistic ones.

    A good bit of cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the premise that “unhelpful” thoughts (like pessimism) can be restructured to promote well-being. I have discovered that this is a positive character trait that takes a lot of time and practice to develop.

    My friend made a list of “positive mantras” that she refers to when she begins to have pessimistic thoughts about the future, but she still needs reminders to review her list; it is far from automatic for her to think in this new way.

    Researchers have found support for several character traits that enable people to experience greater well-being, even in the midst of difficult circumstances (Snyder and Lopez 2002).

    These include courage, resilience, optimism, and self-efficacy. I believe these traits are of paramount importance for individuals with ASD as they must cope with the day-to-day difficulties that their neurological differences present. Most of the parents with whom I work want, above all else, for their children to be happy, to feel content, to have a “good life.”

    Positive character traits contribute to their quality of life far more than attempts to extinguish maladaptive behaviors. Challenging behaviors shouldn’t be left unchecked any more than depression should go untreated.

    However, I am fully convinced that we often get “the cart before the horse” by trying to get rid of the deficits without developing these character strengths.

    Let me give you an analogy. My husband is an avid white-water kayaker. He enjoys the thrill of Class 5 white water, and every time he goes on the river, there is some chance he could drown.

    He assures me that he knows how to take care of himself because, when kayaking, your boat always goes in the direction you are looking. If there is a hazard to avoid, the cardinal rule is not to look at the hazard, but to look at the safe spot where you are aiming. If you do this you will arrive safely at your destination.

    I believe families and individuals with ASD can arrive at their desired destinations—happiness, contentment, and well-being—by looking toward these positive character traits and intentionally developing them, which at the same time will also decrease challenging behaviors, improve relationships, and result in greater participation in the community.

    Thanks

    Maria.K (i suffer from ASD)

    (LINK REMOVED BY MODERATOR)

Reply

  • Optimism is more than seeing life as “half full.” It’s a cognitive style that realistically attributes your successes to factors that you can control. For example, you are optimistic when you perform well on an exam. You believe you were able to do this because you studied hard and put forward your best effort.

    The converse is true for attributions about failure. An optimist does not say, “I’m no good at reading people.” An optimist would say, “I can learn how to understand others’ facial expressions.” This idea is positive, but it’s more than that. It’s specific, skill-oriented, and leaves the door open for change.

    This is not “Pollyanna” thinking that somehow everything will turn out okay; this is a filter for interpreting life’s events that empowers the individual with ASD to take actions that have a positive outcome.


    Furthermore, optimism is not just a personality trait that is either absent or present. People can learn to counteract their pessimistic thoughts with optimistic ones.

    A good bit of cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the premise that “unhelpful” thoughts (like pessimism) can be restructured to promote well-being. I have discovered that this is a positive character trait that takes a lot of time and practice to develop.

    My friend made a list of “positive mantras” that she refers to when she begins to have pessimistic thoughts about the future, but she still needs reminders to review her list; it is far from automatic for her to think in this new way.

    Researchers have found support for several character traits that enable people to experience greater well-being, even in the midst of difficult circumstances (Snyder and Lopez 2002).

    These include courage, resilience, optimism, and self-efficacy. I believe these traits are of paramount importance for individuals with ASD as they must cope with the day-to-day difficulties that their neurological differences present. Most of the parents with whom I work want, above all else, for their children to be happy, to feel content, to have a “good life.”

    Positive character traits contribute to their quality of life far more than attempts to extinguish maladaptive behaviors. Challenging behaviors shouldn’t be left unchecked any more than depression should go untreated.

    However, I am fully convinced that we often get “the cart before the horse” by trying to get rid of the deficits without developing these character strengths.

    Let me give you an analogy. My husband is an avid white-water kayaker. He enjoys the thrill of Class 5 white water, and every time he goes on the river, there is some chance he could drown.

    He assures me that he knows how to take care of himself because, when kayaking, your boat always goes in the direction you are looking. If there is a hazard to avoid, the cardinal rule is not to look at the hazard, but to look at the safe spot where you are aiming. If you do this you will arrive safely at your destination.

    I believe families and individuals with ASD can arrive at their desired destinations—happiness, contentment, and well-being—by looking toward these positive character traits and intentionally developing them, which at the same time will also decrease challenging behaviors, improve relationships, and result in greater participation in the community.

    Thanks

    Maria.K (i suffer from ASD)

    (LINK REMOVED BY MODERATOR)

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