I score 40 on the AQ test. I identify with a great many issues posted on here by adults on the Autistic spectrum. But my "Autistic" tendencies (being withdrawn, avoiding eye contact and conversation, not being able to express myself well or understand what someone is getting at, being stressed by an unexpected change to schedule), only really exhibit themselves when I'm feeling unfairly treated, bullied, manipulated or pressured.
At the moment things are going pretty well in my life, and I can communicate and interact quite well with other people. I'm "getting it" when people joke about stuff in the office, and using humour myself to set up a rapport with some of my colleagues. I can do "small talk" OK, and can usually judge when to join a conversation and when to shut up. I'm coping better with unexpected challenges, and I'm not so stressed if things don't happen that I expect. I'm not depressed, and my panic attacks have stopped. I don't have any other conditions apart from hypertension, which may have stress as the underlying cause (no other cause has been identified) but is controlled with mild medication
My excellent attention to detail and creative thinking abilities, which is an Aspie trait, has earned me respect from some of my colleagues.
But I still prefer libraries to parties. I stil hate crowds and noise. I still have a high sensitivity to cold, and to the labels in clothes. I still have "special interests" which I can pursue obsessively, some of which are unusual for a woman of my age, such as Doctor Who. I still cannot cope with full time work (too draining, but luckily I'm about to go part time). I still benefit from having some time on my own each day. I'm still a perfectionist and like things done my way. I still don't often think to ask others for their opinions / input.
But I wonder what "Autism" really is. Today a colleague was telling us how his daughter has just been promoted to an Assistant Manager position in a care home for Autistic people. He said that the behaviour of the residents can be quite challenging sometimes, and the young men will sometimes squeeze her "boobs". When someone questioned this, he replied "but they're Autistic". However I don't remember seeing anything on the Autistic "triad of impairments" stating that Autistic people may have problems with keeping their hands off of ladies bosoms! Is this behaviour due to a learning disability, rather than autism?
So, am I an autistic who has learned to mimic social behaviour, cut ties with everyone who has tried to manipulate or pressure me, has had the support of an Aspie partner all my adult life, and has no other conditions common in Aspies (like ADD, dyslexia, etc) and therefore is managing life as successfully as the average person can? Or am I not really Autistic?
