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In a bit of a distressed state at the moment

random

Hi,

Not sure to do, have new neighbours moving in next door. Had a knock on the door from one of them, asked if they could move furniture through my garden.

I have had no end of trouble in the past, as when I have agreed before. They just take it as they can do that anytime they want. So thought I would keep it simple this time, and simply tell them sorry, no, I have had too many problems in the past.

Thought that was the end of that, but about five minutes later they return with sofa in hands going directly in to my garden. They need to dismantle fence to get in theirs, so called the police emergency.

I was in an extemely distressed state when I called, but police refused to help. Mainly because they didn't dismantle the fence. I explained I called them, because they were about to, but when I went out to confront them they abandoned their attempt and left by my drive way which is chained and locked.

Police said, they can't do anything, but if they dismantle the fence they will deal with it. Problem is I am not at home all the time, and expect they will try again. Clearly have no regard for my home

I mentioned this to my landlord a couple of years ago, and told them I did not want neighbours using the garden at all.  They agreed with me, and I told them to pass a message on to the agent managing the property next door. To let the next tennants who move in know they can't use my garden.

I expect from their opening question when they knocked on the door, they are aware I am with same landlord as she said "who owns the drive which is chained off". I answered and said this property.

Just in a real state about these people, just can't understand why they are so inconsiderate

Random

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  • NAS18906 said:

    The issue is probably that Random is really struggling to cope with dealing with his neighbours and is in danger of being unable to cope with the loss of privacy. This wouldn't be much of a deal for an NT person but Random hasn't found a good way of accepting this loss of privacy.

    It seems to me that there are two options.

    a) Move to a more isolated location and give up the job.

    b) Work out how to cope with the unwanted intrusions. Ultimately it is the landlord's property and you may have less rights to control what happens in the garden. The landlord may have told the new neighbours that they have to inform you that they intend to use your garden whereas you thought that they had to have your permission. Is it the end of the world if they inform you that they want to have access and you can then shut the curtains and ignore them until they are finished?

    I basically agree with this because, ok, random does have special problems surrounding loss of privacy, however, to look at the other side, the new tenants have a right to move in their furniture and if there is no other access what choice have they got? As long as they have asked random's permission, initially, I don't really see what else can be done. As long as people let random know on each occassion they move in or out of the neighbouring flat, it's difficult to see what else they can do. 

    I could understand it if people were simply trying to harass random out of some perverted pleasure but here it seems it is a case of somebody wanting to get on with their lives by moving. I'm still struggling a bit to understand why this is such a big issue, unless, of course, the new tenants are choosing to use random's garden when they don't really need to. If they have no other choice what are they supposed to do?

    To be fair, you cannot expect complete strangers to be aware of randon's special needs and I don't wish to seem unsympathetic to random but they have rights too and I think we all have to respect one another's rights as far as possible. It is possible there are things going on here I'm not aware of so I can only comment on the information given.

    I, too, experience sensory problems so I can easily identify with random's suffering but the world if full of stuff that can easily upset people like us and sometimes, I think, we just have to 'bite the bullet' and say to ourselves that it will pass.

    The thing that would bother me a bit about this situation though is the fear that, once having allowed someone to use access to my garden, they don't take that as a green light to wander about in it as they please. This is something random would have to guard against and I have no reason to think this is what has happned, from the information random has supplied.

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  • NAS18906 said:

    The issue is probably that Random is really struggling to cope with dealing with his neighbours and is in danger of being unable to cope with the loss of privacy. This wouldn't be much of a deal for an NT person but Random hasn't found a good way of accepting this loss of privacy.

    It seems to me that there are two options.

    a) Move to a more isolated location and give up the job.

    b) Work out how to cope with the unwanted intrusions. Ultimately it is the landlord's property and you may have less rights to control what happens in the garden. The landlord may have told the new neighbours that they have to inform you that they intend to use your garden whereas you thought that they had to have your permission. Is it the end of the world if they inform you that they want to have access and you can then shut the curtains and ignore them until they are finished?

    I basically agree with this because, ok, random does have special problems surrounding loss of privacy, however, to look at the other side, the new tenants have a right to move in their furniture and if there is no other access what choice have they got? As long as they have asked random's permission, initially, I don't really see what else can be done. As long as people let random know on each occassion they move in or out of the neighbouring flat, it's difficult to see what else they can do. 

    I could understand it if people were simply trying to harass random out of some perverted pleasure but here it seems it is a case of somebody wanting to get on with their lives by moving. I'm still struggling a bit to understand why this is such a big issue, unless, of course, the new tenants are choosing to use random's garden when they don't really need to. If they have no other choice what are they supposed to do?

    To be fair, you cannot expect complete strangers to be aware of randon's special needs and I don't wish to seem unsympathetic to random but they have rights too and I think we all have to respect one another's rights as far as possible. It is possible there are things going on here I'm not aware of so I can only comment on the information given.

    I, too, experience sensory problems so I can easily identify with random's suffering but the world if full of stuff that can easily upset people like us and sometimes, I think, we just have to 'bite the bullet' and say to ourselves that it will pass.

    The thing that would bother me a bit about this situation though is the fear that, once having allowed someone to use access to my garden, they don't take that as a green light to wander about in it as they please. This is something random would have to guard against and I have no reason to think this is what has happned, from the information random has supplied.

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