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Thinking I may be hfa/aspergers

Thecornflake

Hi,

I just joined here. I think I may have hfa/aspergers, some places tell me they are different and some say it's all just called autism spectrum disorder.

I'm 38, married with 2 children and have a successful career in I.T. 

I was talking with a friend last weekend who is off work with depression, like me he has done tons of research to try and understand his issues and said he thinks he has aspergers. When he mentioned some of the symptoms a lot of them wrang true so I did some research myself and a lot of stuff fits -

Difficulty socialising and making friends especially fitting in at school and with adult social groups.

A phrase that really hit home was wrong planet syndrome.

Getting very angry at people acting socially unacceptably, for example being too loud.

Needing order and routine, changes to routine cause problems

Being blunt at people and also taking people too literally

Medically a lot of stomach problems and migraines

Constant nervous twitching as a child

Being very highly focussed on interests and hobbies

Obsessively researching everything

Strong interest in patterns and numbers

Feeling overloaded when in public if it's busy or even at home say if two people talk at once

Feeling more comfortable with people of different ages

Noticing and remembering tiny details but often not the bigger picture

I manage fairly well in life With my family and job but for a while I have specifically had noise related issues that have in some cases resulted in proper meltdowns and suicidal thoughts. This is mainly when neighbours are being noisy for some reason I pick up on it very badly. It completely stops me being able to think straight and I have walked out from my house for a few hours several times because of it. At these times sometimes my wife has said yes she can vaguely hear the noise but it doesn't bother her. I now think it could be a combination of being sensitive to sound and the whole being angry about people "not playing by the rules" as I have seen it put. I am having a hearing test soon after talking to my go a while ago about the noise issues, have also had a small amount of counselling but it didn't help because it was all about training myself to accept it as not an issue but I can't not see it as someone deliberately ignoring other people's wellbeing so effectively doing it on purpose if that makes sense.

I'd be very interested in hearing other people's thoughts on any of the above.

Parents

  • It's good to know other people are affected in a similar way. For me it's only a big issue if it's someone being inconsiderate or at least me thinking that. So for example the sound of my own kids or those of our friends if they're round generally I can cope with but if next door's kids are playing in their garden (we don't get on well with them anyway because of previous noise issues) it massively gets to me. The sound of my kids can still cause me issues if they're talking at the same time for example but it's easier to cope with.

    When noise causes me issues it feels like my ability to concentrate is completely shut off and I literally can't think straight. I feel like I have to either shut it out or get away from the issue which has led to me walking out before and not coming back home for several hours. Not a good experience for the kids either. So it's important for me that I find a way to cope with the noise issues but I'm vary wary now of bringing up the autism possibility.

    Also a few people say about ear plugs etc which is an ok short term solution but in my research into sound sensitivity or hyperacusis there are things that say it's a bad thing to do because it can make you even more sensitive to background noise.

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  • It's good to know other people are affected in a similar way. For me it's only a big issue if it's someone being inconsiderate or at least me thinking that. So for example the sound of my own kids or those of our friends if they're round generally I can cope with but if next door's kids are playing in their garden (we don't get on well with them anyway because of previous noise issues) it massively gets to me. The sound of my kids can still cause me issues if they're talking at the same time for example but it's easier to cope with.

    When noise causes me issues it feels like my ability to concentrate is completely shut off and I literally can't think straight. I feel like I have to either shut it out or get away from the issue which has led to me walking out before and not coming back home for several hours. Not a good experience for the kids either. So it's important for me that I find a way to cope with the noise issues but I'm vary wary now of bringing up the autism possibility.

    Also a few people say about ear plugs etc which is an ok short term solution but in my research into sound sensitivity or hyperacusis there are things that say it's a bad thing to do because it can make you even more sensitive to background noise.

Children
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