So fed up with having to deal with other people.

just seen this is an 8 year old thread! But I think my points still stand.

Life in The UK is really tough for a lot of of people right now.  I could give you my personal take on why but I'll spare you as that might not be what you're looking for.    But it sounds like you're grafting your backside off to very little reward and then coming home to rude and ignorant neighbours. I expect this is the life of many, many people at the moment. You have my solidarity and sympathy.

Pixiefox said:

I don't know if this is because I'm getting older

Yeah. pixiefox.

Pixiefox said:

But lately I've started to get quite resentful

pixiefox,pixiefox,pixiefox, please put your manners back in.

Ok makes sense my dad was talking about moving back to Europe (told him that he must not feel he have to move due to this eu bull). I had been told that I have to apply for British citizenship before we leave the eu and my parents have to apply too before it gets to hard to do so when we leave in 2 years. My sister is fine as she was born hear. It's cost about £3500 each I think to apply so I have no idea. Sorry for hijacking the thread.

We're still a pretty tolerant country compared to many others and I think it's because of all the hysteria surrounding Brexit that some people have let their frustrations boil over into silly acts that, on reflection, they'll probably regret.

In ten years we'll wonder what all the fuss was about!

I know exactly how you feel about having to deal with the world. We live in a tiny 2 bed flat (I'm awaiting assessment and I have 2 teenage ASD sons). The neighbours drive me nuts with their noises and smells!

I've taken to hiding from the world by not going outside unless I absolutely have to, and I tend to sleep during the day and awake at night, (it's so much quieter in wee small hours!), whenever I can.

I would love to move to a house but can't afford to.

Excellent post Paul, that's exactly how I feel. 

Leaving the EU is about sovereignty.

Anyone who uses it as an excuse to harass and abuse non-white people and foreigners must really have sh*t for brains. The people who have been doing that are monsters in my mind. Yes, their true colours have shown, hate, division, prejudice and intolerance.

Leaving the EU is about trading with and treating the whole world equally without having to 'prefer' EU countries. It's not about pulling up the drawbridge or filling in the channel tunnel.

For example, African countries can be helped enormously by trade, but EU trade barriers and tarrifs were making that difficult. Trade is better than aid wherever that's possible as trade gives dignity and hopefully prosperity where [long term] aid feeds dependancy.

The world is not going to end because we will be leaving the EU. Nobody really knows what will happen but don't believe all the scare stories. We're not going back to the Dark Ages.

I sometimes feel I want to see the word set on fire but I really don't want to be bitter and want to see the good side to peaple. I have been worried about leaving the eu and effect it would have on peaple from the eu, attacks and such and I could see a mile away before it happened. The first week I have seen people's true colours. Peaple that I have lived with for about 20 or so years. Some weren't great peaple to start with but still shocked at there attitude with leaving the eu. One thought it would get rid of the Asians and stop the so called druggie's and bring back jobs. What don't reliase they are not part of the eu hence Asia. What they forgot there are our doctors, nurse's and so forth. So yeah it's hard not to hate some peaple.

As part having to deal with the crap with peaple at work I can't really say much as I try to avoid that environment. I refuse to work in a place that is not an disabled person environment. I do voluntary job that is aimed for peaple with dissbillty's. Plus it makes me feel better when I have my spending money.

I have been to many schools and a coallage and we'll I had a break down.

I sometimes feel I want to see the word set on fire but I really don't want to be bitter and want to see the good side to peaple. I have been worried about leaving the eu and effect it would have on peaple from the eu, attacks and such and I could see a mile away before it happened. The first week I have seen people's true colours. Peaple that I have lived with for about 20 or so years. Some weren't great peaple to start with but still shocked at there attitude with leaving the eu. One thought it would get rid of the Asians and stop the so called druggie's and bring back jobs. What don't reliase they are not part of the eu hence Asia. What they forgot there are our doctors, nurse's and so forth. So yeah it's hard not to hate some peaple.

As part having to deal with the crap with peaple at work I can't really say much as I try to avoid that environment. I refuse to work in a place that is not an disabled person environment. I do voluntary job that is aimed for peaple with dissbillty's. Plus it makes feel better when I have my spending money.

I have been to many schools and a coallage and we'll I had a break down.

I find your reply quite interesting, I Just posted myself parttly covering issues I have with noise and all this sounds very familiar to me. Especially the desire to live somewhere quiet in a detached house. And the word penetrating to describe the sound, that's exactly how it feels to me. Penetrating straight into my head and not allowing me to think straight or concentrate.

Hi, I remember feeling similar when I lived in a block of flats. I live in a detached house now, but it is expensive and causing financial problems. I still have problems, mainly with finding strangers in my garden just walking through, to get to neighbouring gardens from the road. To do that they have to dismantle the fence. Has really freaked me out, and have phoned police when it happens.

Just seems like modern society nobody really cares or considers anyone else, just caught up in their own bubble with their families and immersed in to social media and want to paint a wonderful picture of their existance to the world.

Then there is the nursery just opposite me, whenever there is time to relax on holiday, I can hear these kids scream to the top of their lungs, really penentrating sound.

Random

Hi Pixiefox. I think I said exactly the same sentence about retiring and living in a detached house to somebody the other night. I have the same work issues especially about the "need to sociaise with work colleagues". We have a strong social vibe at work, with regular events. None of these events are things I would ever wish to attend, mainly they seem to involve getting drunk. I am tee total - why would that ever interest me? Still I am constantly asked to attend. I have worked in several places and this always seems common practice. What I do not understand is, why is it so important for a group of people to require somebody to do something they are not interested in? I have even known people who clearly do not like me, pester me to join in.  

Like you said, you do start to become resentful about it all. I would also agree that I find it more difficult as I grow older. I think a big factor is that you also get more tired and less able to just shrug it off or ignore it. Luckily though like yourself, I am married and my wife helps tremendously with knowing what to say. Also on the rare occasions I have felt obliged to go to something, normally she comes along to offer support.

Here's to retirement!

It's hard enough for NT's to get through life nowadays and everyone has burdens to bear but I guess there is the added problem of sensory issues Aspies are pre-loaded with. One can only hope that the 'bad days' don't outnumber the 'good days' too much. Because people on the AS see, hear, feel and smell things more acutely than ordinary people such gifts come with a price, I suppose. The only consolation I can think of is that we should try to value our abilities and the good they can produce in a world that only sees in one dimension even if they are often unappreciated or mis-interpreted.

I'm with you in many respects, Pixiefox.

I see more and more evidence daily of behaviour in NTs that irritates and exhausts me.  And much of my anxiety, too, stems from not being able to defend myself well.

I had a really rough day at work today.  I enjoy the work I do (support worker at a special needs day centre), and I indentify much closer with the clients (many of whom are on the spectrum, but with learning disabilities too) than I do with most of my colleagues.  When the clients arrive, I'm into their world and out of the NT colleague world with it's back-stabbing, gossip, passive-agression, put-downs and trivial preoccupations. Earlier, I was 'passively-agressively' told off for, essentially, doing my job properly.  I was so pre-occupied with my 1-1 client, that I failed to notice that another client had walked out of the centre alone.  Her carer had left her to go to the toilet without asking if someone could keep an eye.  But I was the one in the wrong!

Later, I was completing a report and someone said to me 'You're supposed to do that in black biro' (I was using blue, and always have for the last 6 months).  Another staff member intoned 'Yes, it's a statutory requirement of the foundation.'  I checked the report over.  Nowhere did it say 'Complete in black biro only'.  And I'd never been told.  Never.  So how am I to know?  But I still got a ticking off!

It's just tiring and petty.  People don't tell you things... then have a go at you when you seem to be not toeing the line!

I've been reading Steve Silberman's excellent book 'Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism (or how to think smarter about people who think differently)'.  I underlined a couple of passages this evening...

'As the mainstream world had a long argument about vaccines, newly diagnosed adults were engaged in a very different conversation about the difficulties of navigating and surviving in a world not built for them.  By sharing the stories of their lives, they discovered that many of the challenges they face daily are not 'symptoms' of their autism, but hardships imposed by a society that refuses to make basic accommodations for people with cognitive disabilities as it does for people with physical disabilities such as blindness and deafness.'

and just as I'm railing at the use of the word 'disability'...

'Neurodiversity: the notion that conditions like autism, dyslexia, and ADHD should be regarded as naturally-occurring cognitive variations with distinctive strengths that have contributed to the evolution of technology and culture rather than mere checklists of deficits and dysfunctions.'

He records visiting Autreat, the annual retreat organised by autistic people for autistic people.  He said upon leaving

'After just four days in autismland, the mainstream world seemed like a constant sensory assault.'

Quite!