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Intense eye contact

westie
over 8 years ago

Hi. I work with an adult who has aspergers, as his support worker at HE college. We get along very well and i have worked with other ASD students in the past, but i've never known the amount of eye contact he gives me, in any of my past students. He really looks deep into my eyes when he is talking to me and never breaks it when i talk back to him. He also frequently looks at my mouth and then back up to my eyes when im talking back to him. He totally zoned in on my mouth the other day amd parted his lips whilst doing so. If i didn't know any better....well, you know where i'm going with my thoughts on this. I know ive gone into facial cues / body language descriptions in detsil, but i do need some answers re this. We are both adults, but does all this mean he has a crush on me? Id like some answers if anyone has any.

Thanks

Parents
  • over 8 years ago

    Pixiefox said:

    If you wanted to have a relationship with him (if that's allowed?)  it would be best to invite him out for a coffee somewhere you could talk privately and ask him how he feels about you. Aspie men are often shy and would be scared of making the first move, and appreciate people being honest and open with them.

    I, too, work with adults with autism - and such a relationship would certainly not be allowed.  Boundaries have to be maintained.  It's not an easy one. 

    As an Aspie male, I can certainly confirm to being scared of making the first move!  I never have been able to.  One girlfriend, a few years ago, actually said to me after we got together 'It was driving me crazy how you kept missing the signals.' 

    What signals?

    Looking back, I know I've missed opportunities. I've been given telephone numbers, asked questions, etc... and never made the connection.  Ah well...

    I hope it all works out satisfactorily, westie.  Sorry I can't offer much help.  I couldn't even maintain eye contact even if I was interested in the other person!  I can only do it if I'm actually in a relationship with the other person - but I'm still very uncomfortable with it.

    Tom

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  • over 8 years ago

    Pixiefox said:

    If you wanted to have a relationship with him (if that's allowed?)  it would be best to invite him out for a coffee somewhere you could talk privately and ask him how he feels about you. Aspie men are often shy and would be scared of making the first move, and appreciate people being honest and open with them.

    I, too, work with adults with autism - and such a relationship would certainly not be allowed.  Boundaries have to be maintained.  It's not an easy one. 

    As an Aspie male, I can certainly confirm to being scared of making the first move!  I never have been able to.  One girlfriend, a few years ago, actually said to me after we got together 'It was driving me crazy how you kept missing the signals.' 

    What signals?

    Looking back, I know I've missed opportunities. I've been given telephone numbers, asked questions, etc... and never made the connection.  Ah well...

    I hope it all works out satisfactorily, westie.  Sorry I can't offer much help.  I couldn't even maintain eye contact even if I was interested in the other person!  I can only do it if I'm actually in a relationship with the other person - but I'm still very uncomfortable with it.

    Tom

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