GOALS

Hello

Just been on a two and a half day course called GOALS. via job centre. But it wasn't specifically about getting a job.

It was more about achievements and setting goals to aim for things.

I have an incredibly hard time in knowing what I want - generally speaking.  Okay I know what I want went choosing from a menu etc. But other things I haven't a clue.  I don't see the end picture at the beginning. If you gave me a blank sheet of paper and asked me to draw something (apart from drawing skills aside), it still be a blank page when time is up. Or I would get inspiration from another in the room and be that many rubbings out and messy that it be a confusing picture. Because basically I do not know what I want. I am not young. Am mid 40'5.

Felt guilty yesterday as there was three of us in the group. We did a career ladder exercise and today watched the video that went with it. One in the group claimed they had a few jobs opportunities lined up. But not actually in work. The way this ladder worked was that I was the only one on the ladder as do voluntary work. I felt so guilty at that.  But that aside.

Just wondering if this is an austitic trait that can't see the end thing in mind?  A) don't really know what I want which if I could then perhaps see the end goal in mind. But I don't very much. Things happen in patchwork fashion and blindly. Even going on this course. I had absolutely no idea what it was about. Had very confusing mixed messages how long it last for. At first I thought it was just one day. Then a text came through saying two and a half days. I was unable to turn up first time anyway as things happend that time.  So had more chance to ask and was told it be for five weeks. Got very anxious about it as such because I really didn't know. Assumed it be some job shop exercise thing again.

I planned to leave at lunch time when I got there Wednesday morning. I gave myself an escape plan. But I didn't and turned up to each session and contributed fully. Now I know it about setting goals and achieving things in life generally, not just jobs. That included but very much about whole life.

We done the main course bit now which was 2 and a half days. But now have individual appointments I think each week.  I am really wanting to make mine work for me. But I do not know how. I got an upto date CV and work programme did that for me. 

How do I really know if I am making this work for me. I am determined not to let this pass me by even though was in turmoil this last few week about it.  So what do I want? I do not know bearing in mind am in my 40's and done all the usual thinking exercises around this kind of thing.  What do I want that says to 'me' I have fully embrased and used this opportunity - without clutching at many straws desperate for things to happen to show i have used it. 

Any ideas please X

Parents
  • Hello

    I had my first appointment session today.  Frustrated but good in that she said everything 3 times and I therefore had to think less about what I might have to say. 

    I had a chat with someone I trust yesterday and that free'd up my headspace as was concerned about failing this opportunity. There is no pass or fail in reality. Just me that doesn't want the opportunity to pass me by.

    He convinced me I won't fail it - being open minded will allow me to think about things, accept ideas etc. (as well as other stuff we talked about-connected)

    Anyway still on that attempt to prove myself of being open and refusing to say 'don't know' too many times. I grasp at the idea of photography. I like taking photo's but it tends to be in the spurr of the moment thing.

    I know there are courses out there available as have looked at them myself but other things came along and filled the gap, the initial reason for looking. But the person is going to look for me anyway and being Adult Ed, i know the next one not whilst Septemer :-(  I would like something before then.

    So I have asked about volunteering opportunites to use that skill in.  She says she will look at that too. I have done so myself just now. I have registered an interest in two that have nothing to do with that, just simply that sounds like it might be good.  But then found one what would include photography a bit. Getting there for the time they want would be harder if they don't pay travelling expenses to there. I have a disability pass but i can't use that till 9.30 and well but we cross that bridge if get that far I realise. Perhaps I can discuss that. 2 and a half days in Leeds helping a charity who works with former homeless. I've registered and I have liked their facebook page. Am more nervous about that one somehow.  (social) media work etc.  One shall see or not. I can actually take the name of the project to my appointment next week and see what 'she' can follow up for me.

Reply
  • Hello

    I had my first appointment session today.  Frustrated but good in that she said everything 3 times and I therefore had to think less about what I might have to say. 

    I had a chat with someone I trust yesterday and that free'd up my headspace as was concerned about failing this opportunity. There is no pass or fail in reality. Just me that doesn't want the opportunity to pass me by.

    He convinced me I won't fail it - being open minded will allow me to think about things, accept ideas etc. (as well as other stuff we talked about-connected)

    Anyway still on that attempt to prove myself of being open and refusing to say 'don't know' too many times. I grasp at the idea of photography. I like taking photo's but it tends to be in the spurr of the moment thing.

    I know there are courses out there available as have looked at them myself but other things came along and filled the gap, the initial reason for looking. But the person is going to look for me anyway and being Adult Ed, i know the next one not whilst Septemer :-(  I would like something before then.

    So I have asked about volunteering opportunites to use that skill in.  She says she will look at that too. I have done so myself just now. I have registered an interest in two that have nothing to do with that, just simply that sounds like it might be good.  But then found one what would include photography a bit. Getting there for the time they want would be harder if they don't pay travelling expenses to there. I have a disability pass but i can't use that till 9.30 and well but we cross that bridge if get that far I realise. Perhaps I can discuss that. 2 and a half days in Leeds helping a charity who works with former homeless. I've registered and I have liked their facebook page. Am more nervous about that one somehow.  (social) media work etc.  One shall see or not. I can actually take the name of the project to my appointment next week and see what 'she' can follow up for me.

Children
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