Hello
Just been on a two and a half day course called GOALS. via job centre. But it wasn't specifically about getting a job.
It was more about achievements and setting goals to aim for things.
I have an incredibly hard time in knowing what I want - generally speaking. Okay I know what I want went choosing from a menu etc. But other things I haven't a clue. I don't see the end picture at the beginning. If you gave me a blank sheet of paper and asked me to draw something (apart from drawing skills aside), it still be a blank page when time is up. Or I would get inspiration from another in the room and be that many rubbings out and messy that it be a confusing picture. Because basically I do not know what I want. I am not young. Am mid 40'5.
Felt guilty yesterday as there was three of us in the group. We did a career ladder exercise and today watched the video that went with it. One in the group claimed they had a few jobs opportunities lined up. But not actually in work. The way this ladder worked was that I was the only one on the ladder as do voluntary work. I felt so guilty at that. But that aside.
Just wondering if this is an austitic trait that can't see the end thing in mind? A) don't really know what I want which if I could then perhaps see the end goal in mind. But I don't very much. Things happen in patchwork fashion and blindly. Even going on this course. I had absolutely no idea what it was about. Had very confusing mixed messages how long it last for. At first I thought it was just one day. Then a text came through saying two and a half days. I was unable to turn up first time anyway as things happend that time. So had more chance to ask and was told it be for five weeks. Got very anxious about it as such because I really didn't know. Assumed it be some job shop exercise thing again.
I planned to leave at lunch time when I got there Wednesday morning. I gave myself an escape plan. But I didn't and turned up to each session and contributed fully. Now I know it about setting goals and achieving things in life generally, not just jobs. That included but very much about whole life.
We done the main course bit now which was 2 and a half days. But now have individual appointments I think each week. I am really wanting to make mine work for me. But I do not know how. I got an upto date CV and work programme did that for me.
How do I really know if I am making this work for me. I am determined not to let this pass me by even though was in turmoil this last few week about it. So what do I want? I do not know bearing in mind am in my 40's and done all the usual thinking exercises around this kind of thing. What do I want that says to 'me' I have fully embrased and used this opportunity - without clutching at many straws desperate for things to happen to show i have used it.
Any ideas please X
