• Replies 11 replies
  • Subscribers 79 subscribers
  • Views 2467 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Really Struggling with life

random

I am in a real bad spot at the moment, feeling really low, things have been bad for some time. I have been fighting a problem with one of my pension schemes, which has affected me very deeply. I discovered last year, my pension was invested in the incorrect funds, the provider claims I phoned them to instruct them to move the funds, but I never gave them the instructions. I have followed it up it financial ombudsman, and they are siding with the pension scheme. Just feel like they have led me down and alley way and mugged me, and are going to get away with it legally.

Its not just this pension thing, there is are a large number of problems, that take enormous effort and time to try and deal with. Problems with house and landlord, problems with finances where everyone you speak too seems to think you have some spare funds magically appear. I am single, not on a low salary, but that is just not enough to support demands and cost for housing, running a car, food, council tax, etc.

I collected many things for years, put a huge effort in to storing them carefully. Over a year ago now, I found a couple of things that have got damaged from damp conditions. Was a massive setup, years of collecting, and care. I tried to sort through them to find out extent of the damage, and sell what was fine, but just got to the point I could'nt handle all the grief to see stuff I had collected get ruined. This is not storing stuff in a loft or garage, I stored in a spare bedroom carefully and placed in strong boxes.

I have been off work for past couple of weeks with stress. I have spoken to my gp, to get some further help for my mental health, but it is like hitting my head against a brick wall. No body seems to listen, and being an older single male, society just seems to totally dismiss my existence, except for when someone wants me to pay for something.

Tonight discovered an event I would like to go to, has sold out, its only a little thing, but when I am in a deep down spell like this, it really amplifies the whole thing. Really struggling to cling to something, but just can't find anything, and everything seems to be crumbling around me.

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi Random,

    I have been slow to respond for a couple of reasons

    1) I am not a trained counsellor so I am aware that there is a danger that i might say something that might make you feel worse rather then better.

    2) Everyone is different so something that might work for me might not work for you

    So, please pick and choose what you want to accept or argue with. I won't be offended by anything you say and I really hope that I won't offend you.

    I know something of the issues that you are talking about. I was unable to control my weight when I was at junior school, I do understand the problems of obsessional repetitive behaviours. I have had depression and anxiety in the last few years before and after I got diagnosed with ASC. I have managed to stay in work for almost the whole of my adult life (currently "between" jobs though! i.e. unemployed for the last month). You are clearly intelligent because you have managed to make yourself useful to firms and you are doing a 'knowledge worker' job for them.

    I have recently (last few years) been taking a more active interest in the mind and mental health. I saw what happened to my father who in hindsight had ASC but who was treated for depression and anxiety with meds for many years and I have a preference for avoiding that if possible. I'm not completely and militantly anti drugs because there are clearly some conditions and some people who respond well to that. I am learning how to understand more about my own mind and others minds as this is a major issue for people on the spectrum - my theory is that building a better understanding of mental health and its causes and cures should make me more resilient and capable of better looking after my own mental health (with help from others as appropriate)

    I went through an angry phase (extreme version of Victor Meldrew) for a couple of years but came through that with the passage of time and from being given a book on anger management which told me that anger is a thing that should be jettisoned at the first opportunity. Being angry mainly makes you feel bad. It makes you feel more and more anger and it does not really help with anything. Anger does not improve your decision making skills and it really does not help with communication problems.

    You clearly have lots of very real problems and there is an issue about what order to tackle things in. I would suggest that anger is an obstacle that stands between you and the help you need. What I don't know is how best to defuse that anger and bury it so that it stops being an issue.

    I hope that some of this makes sense to you and I hope it sparks you into a positive response.

    'Sox

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi Random,

    I have been slow to respond for a couple of reasons

    1) I am not a trained counsellor so I am aware that there is a danger that i might say something that might make you feel worse rather then better.

    2) Everyone is different so something that might work for me might not work for you

    So, please pick and choose what you want to accept or argue with. I won't be offended by anything you say and I really hope that I won't offend you.

    I know something of the issues that you are talking about. I was unable to control my weight when I was at junior school, I do understand the problems of obsessional repetitive behaviours. I have had depression and anxiety in the last few years before and after I got diagnosed with ASC. I have managed to stay in work for almost the whole of my adult life (currently "between" jobs though! i.e. unemployed for the last month). You are clearly intelligent because you have managed to make yourself useful to firms and you are doing a 'knowledge worker' job for them.

    I have recently (last few years) been taking a more active interest in the mind and mental health. I saw what happened to my father who in hindsight had ASC but who was treated for depression and anxiety with meds for many years and I have a preference for avoiding that if possible. I'm not completely and militantly anti drugs because there are clearly some conditions and some people who respond well to that. I am learning how to understand more about my own mind and others minds as this is a major issue for people on the spectrum - my theory is that building a better understanding of mental health and its causes and cures should make me more resilient and capable of better looking after my own mental health (with help from others as appropriate)

    I went through an angry phase (extreme version of Victor Meldrew) for a couple of years but came through that with the passage of time and from being given a book on anger management which told me that anger is a thing that should be jettisoned at the first opportunity. Being angry mainly makes you feel bad. It makes you feel more and more anger and it does not really help with anything. Anger does not improve your decision making skills and it really does not help with communication problems.

    You clearly have lots of very real problems and there is an issue about what order to tackle things in. I would suggest that anger is an obstacle that stands between you and the help you need. What I don't know is how best to defuse that anger and bury it so that it stops being an issue.

    I hope that some of this makes sense to you and I hope it sparks you into a positive response.

    'Sox

Children
No Data