People relativising AS and telling you that you seem 'normal' to them.

Hope said:

I hate it with a passion when people say to me, often randomly, 'I don't think anyone would have thought that you struggle with asperger's, you seem so normal', and then they say that they themselves struggled to fit in at school for some reason and does that mean they therefore have aspergers? It is like they are questioning the diagnosis by implying I cannot possibly have AS because I am so chatty and extrovert!. They do not realise how their comments make me feel sick inside, the anguish and stess the comments make me feel, particularly when the comments come from people who should know better. My regular support worker understands me and would never relativise my AS, but a support worker who has only recently started working with Autistic adults and who does not have much experience in this field, recently came out with these comments and left me feeling hurt and upset, although in other respects I get on with him. I feel like I am a fake, that my identity is being questioned, and it makes me feel unhappy, like I will be a perpetual outsider, not fitting in anywhere. I don't wish to be defined by asperger's, but it is nevertheless such a big part of my identity and I am so proud of my achievements and successes with regard to fighting back against my anxiety and the negative side of my AS and how my experiences have shaped me as a person. I always feel like I have to justify myself and it makes me feel so tense and upset. Anyway, I felt like replying, what am I supposed to look like as a person with AS? Am I supposed to hardly talk, to be rude and non-compliant or highly distracted?.

Has anyone else with high-fuunctioning AS experienced similar issues? I do feel so unhappy at the moment, but maybe I am being too analytical and taking things too far.

I was diagnosed as having Asperger Syndrome in the summer of 2011 (only last year). 

In the early 2000s, I met somebody through voluntary work who shared similar (geeky) interests as me.  She told me that she has Autism and has a carer.  I had no idea that she was Autistic and said so to her.  I (tried) to compliment her by saying that had she not told me, I would never have guessed.  (At the time, I only knew of the stereotypical autism, as depicted in films like "Rainman".) 

And here I am, several years late, diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and am in a similar position! 

I think the problem is (and I am as guilty of this as anyone else) that films like "Rainman", and maybe the Bruce Willis film (the one in which he protects an Autistic children from the NSA), give a false impression of Autistic Spectrum Disorder.  When you mention Autism, people assume that all Autism is the severe kind and do not realise that Autism varies in severity, from person to person. 

Hope said:

I hate it with a passion when people say to me, often randomly, 'I don't think anyone would have thought that you struggle with asperger's, you seem so normal', and then they say that they themselves struggled to fit in at school for some reason and does that mean they therefore have aspergers? It is like they are questioning the diagnosis by implying I cannot possibly have AS because I am so chatty and extrovert!. They do not realise how their comments make me feel sick inside, the anguish and stess the comments make me feel, particularly when the comments come from people who should know better. My regular support worker understands me and would never relativise my AS, but a support worker who has only recently started working with Autistic adults and who does not have much experience in this field, recently came out with these comments and left me feeling hurt and upset, although in other respects I get on with him. I feel like I am a fake, that my identity is being questioned, and it makes me feel unhappy, like I will be a perpetual outsider, not fitting in anywhere. I don't wish to be defined by asperger's, but it is nevertheless such a big part of my identity and I am so proud of my achievements and successes with regard to fighting back against my anxiety and the negative side of my AS and how my experiences have shaped me as a person. I always feel like I have to justify myself and it makes me feel so tense and upset. Anyway, I felt like replying, what am I supposed to look like as a person with AS? Am I supposed to hardly talk, to be rude and non-compliant or highly distracted?.

Has anyone else with high-fuunctioning AS experienced similar issues? I do feel so unhappy at the moment, but maybe I am being too analytical and taking things too far.

I was diagnosed as having Asperger Syndrome in the summer of 2011 (only last year). 

In the early 2000s, I met somebody through voluntary work who shared similar (geeky) interests as me.  She told me that she has Autism and has a carer.  I had no idea that she was Autistic and said so to her.  I (tried) to compliment her by saying that had she not told me, I would never have guessed.  (At the time, I only knew of the stereotypical autism, as depicted in films like "Rainman".) 

And here I am, several years late, diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and am in a similar position! 

I think the problem is (and I am as guilty of this as anyone else) that films like "Rainman", and maybe the Bruce Willis film (the one in which he protects an Autistic children from the NSA), give a false impression of Autistic Spectrum Disorder.  When you mention Autism, people assume that all Autism is the severe kind and do not realise that Autism varies in severity, from person to person.