Advice needed re counselling

Although both NHS counsellors I saw were supposed to do CBT, I don't think they actually went through the process. We seemed to just talk about things. It was all about encouraging me to think positively though. One of the other counsellors I saw privately told me I should go outside my comfort zone. This is all good advice that I read in many places too. But, I think staying within my comfort zone, and considering the negative side of things, has helped to protect me. I got into my current situation by having a real "can do" attitude, and going outside my comfort zone, even though I still thought it through carefully, and put what I thought were very sensible and practical provisions in place to deal with potential problems.

I think the problem wasn't the physical aspects of what I was doing, it was the people situations I had to deal with. I think I could have dealt with the practical problems, although they were, and still are, pretty challenging, but I couldn't deal with the people I came across. I've never had to deal with such difficult people. I've been lied to, taken advantage of, and just been unable to make the strong connections I need with the good people I needed to get involved in what I was trying to do. It's only through this experience that I started to realise I've always had a real problem connecting with people and dealing with difficult situations. I'm not aware of anyone spotting this, until it was too late.

From what I can see, counsellors are doing the job they're trained to do. They don't do diagnosis, so it's like sending someone with a broken leg to a specialist in broken arms, and wondering why you get your arm put in plaster, and fall over in agony when you try to stand up!! The GP I saw during what I thought was my "mid life crisis" just asked what I wanted him to do about it, and when I muttered something about "giving me a checkup or something", he sighed loudly and said "oh well, I'll refer you to a counsellor". And that was it. A counsellor was the only option, with no opportunity for any sort of assessment or diagnosis. The place I went to privately while I was waiting for NHS counselling was no help either, as they seemed to diagnose anyone who went there as being co-dependant, and applied a one size fits all treatment.

10½ years after visiting that GP, I may finally get the right answer in a few weeks, and just maybe get to see people who are trained to deal with the right problem.

That's why I'm a bit wary of counsellors!

Although both NHS counsellors I saw were supposed to do CBT, I don't think they actually went through the process. We seemed to just talk about things. It was all about encouraging me to think positively though. One of the other counsellors I saw privately told me I should go outside my comfort zone. This is all good advice that I read in many places too. But, I think staying within my comfort zone, and considering the negative side of things, has helped to protect me. I got into my current situation by having a real "can do" attitude, and going outside my comfort zone, even though I still thought it through carefully, and put what I thought were very sensible and practical provisions in place to deal with potential problems.

I think the problem wasn't the physical aspects of what I was doing, it was the people situations I had to deal with. I think I could have dealt with the practical problems, although they were, and still are, pretty challenging, but I couldn't deal with the people I came across. I've never had to deal with such difficult people. I've been lied to, taken advantage of, and just been unable to make the strong connections I need with the good people I needed to get involved in what I was trying to do. It's only through this experience that I started to realise I've always had a real problem connecting with people and dealing with difficult situations. I'm not aware of anyone spotting this, until it was too late.

From what I can see, counsellors are doing the job they're trained to do. They don't do diagnosis, so it's like sending someone with a broken leg to a specialist in broken arms, and wondering why you get your arm put in plaster, and fall over in agony when you try to stand up!! The GP I saw during what I thought was my "mid life crisis" just asked what I wanted him to do about it, and when I muttered something about "giving me a checkup or something", he sighed loudly and said "oh well, I'll refer you to a counsellor". And that was it. A counsellor was the only option, with no opportunity for any sort of assessment or diagnosis. The place I went to privately while I was waiting for NHS counselling was no help either, as they seemed to diagnose anyone who went there as being co-dependant, and applied a one size fits all treatment.

10½ years after visiting that GP, I may finally get the right answer in a few weeks, and just maybe get to see people who are trained to deal with the right problem.

That's why I'm a bit wary of counsellors!