Reaching potential

that last post was very encouraging am struggling with a career i have always faked it as normal and am shy about being open abouty my eccentricitys 

I'm 28 years old from the UK and gained a formal diagnosis of combined Asperger's & ADD at around 23. No I don't remember exactly which year it was, it's not important to me! :P

I have always found myself in the strange position of being able to hold down most jobs whilst also getting into plenty of trouble at work. I'm "black and white", decisive, impulsive, reactive, proactive, incendiary... however you want to term it, two hempspheres of one meaning.

I can honestly say that for me, work becomes a huge problem when I'm not stimulated and additionally when my senses are overwhelmed. This can seem a bit contradictory but I suppose having both Asperger's and ADD, I'm a bit of a walking contradiction :')

I throw my toys out of the pram when things don't go right. I have attention to detail on a level which others find infuriating, especially when 'hyperfocus' from my ADD aligns with my Asperger's enabling very deep and linear thinking. But there are many places where these traits are valued and not scorned. Unfortunately the retail industry is not one of those places.

Being generally dissatisfied, difficult to please and a perfectionist caused me to reject and eject from any and all jobs I wasn't happy with. As a result, I ended up in the right place with the right people. Reject the bad, accept the good!

My conditions are fully disclosed and when I have an outburst, we all just laugh about it (which I suggested because it makes me feel better about it!)

Although I'm a walking 'sheer force of will' with various disruptive eccentricities and a percievably negative attitude (in some ways); I'm also a person. I'm also funny, talented and great at what I do. As such I haven't been 'fired' to date despite having quit many jobs and having said a great deal more than I should have on numerous occasions.

My advice to you: Find what makes you tick. Find what you love and do that. For me it's design, development, web marketing, big data and all things digital - for you it may be something else!

Don't end up wasting yourself. You do deserve more and I bet you can find it. It just takes willpower and bravery. Also, CBT helps a lot! (well - it helped me a lot anyway)

Don't think what could or should have been. Think what will be. Picture it and "make it so" (thanks Picard!)

I wouldn't have got a diagnosis all the years ago that I needed one, because I was in my mid 30s when it was just starting to be recognised, but I'm annoyed that no one made any kind of observation that I might be struggling in areas that most people can handle. If they had, maybe we could have worked out some way to try to deal with it.

Interesting thoughts. I too have left jobs because of difficult people situations. When you have a diagnosis later in life it does make you wonder how you might have behaved if you knew earlier.

I'm 60, and started my CIMA studies when I left school and got my first job. I flew through the first three parts, and then got stuck. I retook the exams a number of times, but didn't manage to pass. It seems that whatever I do, I get to a certain level and get stuck. I was made reduntant from my first job, but left the second one because I felt I had to due to a difficult people situation. Then I had two jobs that didn't work out because I didn't fit in. I set up my own business providing accounting services to small businesses, and did OK, but never made my fortune, even though the business had the potential for it.

With hindsight, all the big changes I've made in my life have been because I couldn't handle a difficult situation with other people. I don't think I think in an "all or nothing" way, but when I'm in a difficult situation it's the only way I can act. I either put up with the situation, or have to get out of it. I can't negotiate and work out a solution, as I can't connect with people beyond quite a superficial level.

I've always thought I had a problem that would be resolved eventually, and it was only 5 years ago I started to discover that maybe it's something I was born with, and I've still got a month to wait for the results of my diagnosis. If I'd known a very long time ago, maybe I could have adapted, and done things differently. I think I've made some progress with resolving what I think is my other big problem, with Executive Function, by applying suggestions I've read in books and web sites on Aspergers, so maybe I'd have achieved more if I could have started doing that years ago. Or maybe I wouldn't have tried, and just led a simpler and more manageable life, where I didn't get overwhelmed by making things too complicated.

Thanks for replying. Really interesting reading your experiences as I also feel I've moved around in different job areas and education routes quite a lot. Also, relieved that it's not just me who has found it difficult to manage full-time work as well as other things and who doesn't want to attend the work socials! Totally get the issues with management and tedious meetings, I know I couldn't do that kind of corporate job.

Also, it's funny you should suggest Open University, I am already studying English language and literature with them and distance learning definitely suits me the best! I went to university for a year and dropped out because of the social pressures and feeling on the outside. But I love OU.

I would love to be a librarian, perhaps an academic one. It's not something I'd ever actually considered as a career option. Fingers crossed that when I have my degree there will be more career opportunities open and something will fit me well!

Your current job where you work out your own schedule sounds brilliant. Hope it continues to suit you well :)

I'm a 55 year old female and I haven't reached my potential either, but have achieved quite a lot and I am fairly happy with my situation now.

Despite being of above average intelligence, I under achieved at school and left with only 2 GCE O levels (equivalent to GCSE grade A-C) in English language and Spanish. I also took several other exams at the old CSE level, where the highest results I achieved were the equivalent of a GCSE grade D in maths, science, French and English literature.

After leaving school I struggled in a work environment and went from one admin job to another. After a spell of unemployment I volunteered at the local school to help pupils with reading and was offered a job as a special needs teaching assistant. I stayed there for several years as it was part time, and achieved an NVQ in learning support. 

I left that job when my personal situation changed and my hours were cut, and I needed to earn more. I went into a career in accountancy and could have been a fully qualified accountant, however studying as well as working full time became too exhausting and I gave up after the first year of CIMA (chartered institute of management accountants). After a break, I managed to study for a year at a lower level by distance learning and gained a level 3 NVQ in accounting with the association of accounting technicians which has been very helpful in my career. 

I have generally found distance learning to be easier as I can focus better - I get too distracted in a classroom situation and can't concentrate.

I have studied with the open university for my own interest and gained a certificate in social sciences (a level 4 qualification).  I intended to complete a degree with the OU, but again I found it too much with working full-time.

A few years ago I decided I wanted to try something different and as I love languages I decided to train as a teacher of English as a foreign language. It was a really intensive course, but I gave up work so I could focus just on learning and was so relieved when I passed! It didn't work out as a job though - it was too stressful, so I went back to accounts.

I now work 4.5 days a week in an accounts role where I am unsupervised and able to plan my own schedule for completing my work. I couldn't deal with a management or professional career where I was expected to work long hours, attend tedious meetings and "network" in social situations. I don't even get hassled about not attending the Christmas party where I work now!

Re suggestions as to how you could progress - have you thought about distance learning? You can now get a student loan to study with the OU at certain levels - Perhaps you could study literature? What about training to be a librarian as a career?  Perhaps you could look into getting help with training for that?  Your local council or jobcentre might be able to advise.  Good luck with whatever you do.;)