I think I have aspergers - what if the doctor says I don't?

I've just self-diagnosed (score of 42 on the AS test). I'm a 55 year old female. Preferred sitting in a corner reading as a child to interacting with others. Underachieved at school and was bullied. Thought at one point that I was the only human being and all the other kids were robots. Since leaving school have achieved some vocational & professional qualifications, where a course lasted no longer than 1 year.  I get exhausted by social situations, or if I have too many demands at work. I pursue special interests to the point of obsession and can talk about them endlessly  often forgetting to ask others about themselves or their ideas. I avoid conflict, tend to try to please others and feel hurt by real or imagined criticism. I've always been told that I look younger than I am and have also been told that I sound young on the phone. Due to not coping well recently, I saw a GP at my surgery who specialises in mental health, who has referred me for counselling. I asked him about assessment for aspergers and he said that as it takes some time to see a specialist, he will get a more detailed questionnaire than the standard AS test for me to complete and then go through the results with me.  My concern is - what if he says I don't have AS? 

Parents
  • Hi recombinantsocks, thank you for your kind reply.

    The doctor did say that an assessment as an adult is only done if it would be useful. I knew this, so I told him that I felt it would be helpful for me to understand myself better and maybe to plan how to cope better in stressful situations. 

    I have pretty good written communication skills, and over the years have learned to improve my verbal communication skills, although I still sometimes struggle with expressing what I mean, finding the exact word(s) or forgetting important points. For example, the doctor explained that the results of the Baron-cohen test that I completed the day before I saw him could have been affected by the anxiety I was currently suffering from due to stressful incidents I have recently experienced. I replied that I have always been anxious, and told him about a few other traits I have which typify aspergers, however I forgot to tell him that I originally did this test months ago after seeing a documentary about AS, when my stress levels were lower, and got similar results.

    I also told the doctor that I thought it might be useful to have a diagnosis to enable counselling to be tailored to my needs, however he said the CBT would be the same whether I have aspergers or not.  

    Thanks also for the information about getting a second opinion. However I am interested as to whether anyone who believed they had aspergers has been told they don't even after getting a second opinion? I'm worried about feeling that there's something wrong with me but not having any explanation why. Do I actually just want to feel "different" or 'special"?  Would a neuro typical person want to feel they are different?  I wouldn't think so myself, as I worked hard to fit in when I was younger and I don't think I could have dealt with feeling "not normal"  then, when the opinions of others meant a lot more to me than they do now.

    Oh well, I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I'll let you know how I get on.

Reply
  • Hi recombinantsocks, thank you for your kind reply.

    The doctor did say that an assessment as an adult is only done if it would be useful. I knew this, so I told him that I felt it would be helpful for me to understand myself better and maybe to plan how to cope better in stressful situations. 

    I have pretty good written communication skills, and over the years have learned to improve my verbal communication skills, although I still sometimes struggle with expressing what I mean, finding the exact word(s) or forgetting important points. For example, the doctor explained that the results of the Baron-cohen test that I completed the day before I saw him could have been affected by the anxiety I was currently suffering from due to stressful incidents I have recently experienced. I replied that I have always been anxious, and told him about a few other traits I have which typify aspergers, however I forgot to tell him that I originally did this test months ago after seeing a documentary about AS, when my stress levels were lower, and got similar results.

    I also told the doctor that I thought it might be useful to have a diagnosis to enable counselling to be tailored to my needs, however he said the CBT would be the same whether I have aspergers or not.  

    Thanks also for the information about getting a second opinion. However I am interested as to whether anyone who believed they had aspergers has been told they don't even after getting a second opinion? I'm worried about feeling that there's something wrong with me but not having any explanation why. Do I actually just want to feel "different" or 'special"?  Would a neuro typical person want to feel they are different?  I wouldn't think so myself, as I worked hard to fit in when I was younger and I don't think I could have dealt with feeling "not normal"  then, when the opinions of others meant a lot more to me than they do now.

    Oh well, I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I'll let you know how I get on.

Children
No Data