ESA medical on tuseday, and I have never been more scared

Its, I had to stop watching the news, talk of benefit reforms was a majour anxity trigger. I had to stop reading papers for same reason. I had to stop checking my emails, because on good days I;d sighn petitions, and on bad days I crumbed under a never ending cavalcade of woe.

I feel so useless, so pathethic, so utterly utterly hopeless. I can barely cope with my life now, and ESA is made by the tories to be demied not granted. Itry to sleep, cant, stress has eatenmy apetite. all I can see when I close my eyes is the horror stories of claims spitefully denied/ havent even begun to look into PIP. I want to cry but tears wont come to be sick but I;m not there either.

I;ve read al the links here, they helped with the forms but, all I can think of is how corrupt the assessors are, how fundng cus and turnover have cut me off from the local support.

I have my mother coming in with me but, I am so very scared.  dont even know why I wront this. venting, too late for anything else.

Parents
  • Hi Eled,

    i just want to say, please dont be scared.  I had my first one back in September and was a nervous wreck, my husband came with me but I still stood outside the waiting room crying with fear.  I went in and the lady was surprisingly kind.  I told her how I was on my worst days and what my biggest troubles are (for me a fear of people and being seen).  It seemed evident early on that my instinct said from the questions she asked me that she had gone "off piste" and was trying to help me.  The questions she asked went off the standard format so I believed she was helping me To explain my difficulties more coherently.  I guess it is probably russian roulette as to who you get and the experience was very unpleasant but I survived and got through it and so will you.  If you are honest and tell the assessor what your issues are and how you do/ don't struggle on your WORST days then you should be fine.  There's a good website about benefits assessments that I've forgotten the name of.  It was possibly www.benefitsandwork.co.uk which gives you a dummy test and a forum that helps you work out how you score before you go.  im sure someone will correct me if this is the wrong site.  It really helps to think about your answers before you go, I know for me I have quite a cognitive delay about these types of things so thinking it through first really helped me.  Good luck

Reply
  • Hi Eled,

    i just want to say, please dont be scared.  I had my first one back in September and was a nervous wreck, my husband came with me but I still stood outside the waiting room crying with fear.  I went in and the lady was surprisingly kind.  I told her how I was on my worst days and what my biggest troubles are (for me a fear of people and being seen).  It seemed evident early on that my instinct said from the questions she asked me that she had gone "off piste" and was trying to help me.  The questions she asked went off the standard format so I believed she was helping me To explain my difficulties more coherently.  I guess it is probably russian roulette as to who you get and the experience was very unpleasant but I survived and got through it and so will you.  If you are honest and tell the assessor what your issues are and how you do/ don't struggle on your WORST days then you should be fine.  There's a good website about benefits assessments that I've forgotten the name of.  It was possibly www.benefitsandwork.co.uk which gives you a dummy test and a forum that helps you work out how you score before you go.  im sure someone will correct me if this is the wrong site.  It really helps to think about your answers before you go, I know for me I have quite a cognitive delay about these types of things so thinking it through first really helped me.  Good luck

Children
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