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Stress & Coping

Sgt Romeo

Am I the only one who really suffers with stress & then can't find a coping strategy so gets more stressed over really insignificant things?

Nothing I have tried to help me cope with stress has helped.  Every suggestion people have given me has been tried.  I CANNOT relax.  It's a physical impossibility for me.  I don't know how to relax.

It may well be that I'm still thinking about the long list of things I have to do that is stopping me from relaxing, but I don't know how to deal with this.

It feels like I need a break from everything right now.  But I have to keep going to work to pay the bills.  I have to keep getting up in the morning.  But I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this before I snap.

Can anybody offer any advice?

  • I think combining things is a good way. First of all exercise. Especially getting the heart working. Run, jog or walk, listen to music and take in the outdoors environment for 30-60 minutes. Then eat a nice healthy meal and take a bit more time to yourself doing something you enjoy (tv show, video game, music etc.) before shutting off for 30 minutes and going for a nap really. Something that's going to be a few hours long, that's all about you and only you, with nobody to distract you.

    I hope that helps?

  • I find there are a number of things I can do that help to relieve stress and anxiety but they will only work up to a point.  Once things build up beyond a certain level they seem to snowball and I am no longer able to effectively control them.

    One thing I do find is that I am simply not able to do as much as most people my age; I just can't juggle a full time job and a social life and the housework and everything else (that I sometimes refer to as 'joined up living').  I have a lot of difficulty multi-tasking, things seem to take me longer and I seem to need more 'down-time' than most.  The extent to which I am able to accept that (rather than getting frustrated with myself) and adjust my life accordingly has a huge impact on my mental health but is an ongoing battle.

  • Hi Sgt. Romeo

    If it is any solace, I think that many of the uses of these forums (myself included) can identify with the issues identified within your post. It is especially difficult as it is a non-specific problem (i.e. the stresses or stressors of one day are not necessirily those of another).

    I suspect (and project) that you are in the situation where your mind is constantly racing; re-thinking past events and how they could have been handled better and/or trying to perfect items currently under-way.

    As such, a book which may help, which despite the title mainly deals with day to day stress and how to combat it, is 'Dealing with anxiety and depression on the autism spectrum' by Lee A Wilkinson. It will, however, require effort on your part to be effective (i.e. it is not enough to simply read the book, you must also complete the exercises it details).

  • Hi,

    Just read your post, and almost word for word, it is exactly as I feel right now. After my diagnosis, I look back in my life, and I cant really pin any time down when I felt I was on top of things, coping. There was a brief period about 2-3 years where I felt more secure, which helped a lot. I was earning a lot of money with a job that was less stresful, without the worries of housing.

    I think the problem is we do not fit in to an nt world.

    I am not bad coping with work, but my personal life is just getting more harder. I think that is partly because working full time just takes so much out of me, I don't have energy to evolve my personal life. Just sorting out general stuff takes so long.

    I think the simple fact is things do literally get too much for us, and with all the attention to detail, wanting to keep people happy, its just not possible.

    I knew this week would be hard, and just trying to get it all over with

    One thing I do try and do, is some job I hate or not looking forward too. I hate gardening, particularly trimming this horrendous conifer hedge.

    Most times I can't get my mind focused enough to motivate me to do it, but when I have, it has really helped. Just remind myself that i am feeling bad now, so may as well do this; so when I feel easier I will have some more time free

    Random

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    All of the relaxation techniques in the world won't fix a fundamental problem such as being in a bad relationship or being in the wrong job or not being accepted by the people that matter to you. A lot of these things can be fixed (without necessarily changing jobs, partners or anything else) but you have to work out what is actually winding you up and deal with it in some way. You can change things by changing the way you think about things or by getting people to deal with you more sympathetically or by working out what you are really good at and what you are really not good at.

    Does that help?