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Can't get my son to sleep

Clemmie

hi all.  My son isn't diagnosed, we are half way through the process but he really dips into anxiety when there's change happenning and it's worst at bedtime.  So right now, with school about to start again (he's 9) he just cannot get to sleep, it took 2 hours tonight. I have to sit with him every night until he's asleep.  And then he's wakeful in the night and often gets in bed with me.  he wakes early in the morning too, sometimes dashing off to start at one of his 'hobbies' - TV, list writing, cutting paper - at a really early hour.

I try so hard to have a routine, he has a lavender bath, he's got a lava lamp to watch to calm him.....

but he can't cope on a 10pm bedtime, he then has a really bad time at school, although they are very understanding, and his behaviour at home becomes more erratic and difficult to manage.

Anyone got any answers?  Do I just keep him up?  Let him sleep in my bed? is it time to go to the GP? 

  • If there are ever specific anxieties keeping him awake then a 'worry book' next to the bed can sometimes also be useful.  Just somewhere he can jot down things he might be trying to remember or need to ask about so he can deal with them in the morning.  It can sometimes help me to postpone worrying or ruminating on something if I know I have scheduled a time to deal with it later that I won't forget.

  • Thank you for all that info. No easy solution then (haha!! Wasn't really expecting one don't worry).

    Thanks to your help ive tweeked bedtime so there is no reading in bed at all and we listen to a boring but just interesting enough sleep meditation which does seem to be working at the moment most nights.

     He's got an observation at school and a final assessment this month so hopefully a little more insight into what's going on and then I can seek more help if necessary - I am very sure I will be here with many more questions! 

  • Hi Clemmie,

    I appreciate your thanks, and glad you found my comments useful, I hope your son finds sleaping a little easier soon. I found it a very hard slog improving mine, it was a case of trying different things until one or two "clicked" with you. Even the book reading which did work for me for a number of years, did not have much effect when I had another bout of insomnia around about a year ago.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Sleep issues are very common for people with autistic spectrum conditions.

    See community.autism.org.uk/.../"sleep issues"

    Kids will learn bad habits if they are rewarded. If he finds that the night time world has entertainment rather than calm, safe, peace and quiet then he will want more of that. Generally children need to be reassured when they wake in the night but if you give them a practically silent hug and tuck up back in their own bed then they can learn that bed is where you expect him to be. This is easier said than done but the method gets repeated on all of the TV programmes that show kids that can't sleep. If you are patient and consistent then this often works.

    Some people find that Melatonin (I think you will find it mentioned in some of the threads returned by that search) can help re-establish a good rhythm. A lot of autistic minds have different wiring and chemistry and respond well to this particular drug. It isn't an anti psychotic or anything like that but equally it should only be tried after you have tried the strong silent treatment above.

  • Thanks so much Random your post was very useful.  He is definitely distracted and  upset by his thoughts, and stuff in his room he wants to get up and do.  I also think I am going to have to think about more ways to help him relax.

    Yorkshirelass I look forward to reading your post, when the mods have finished 'modding'.

    Clemmie.

  • Hi Yorkshirelass,

    Apologies about this, I just want to check that it's within our rules to include an email address for this practioner. Thanks for your understanding Smile

    Sofie Mod

  • Really sorry to hear about your son, I am 49 and had significant problems with insomnia some years ago. Part of mine was fear of not going to sleep, is your son worried about not sleeping ?

    Anothing thing to help, what some people has labelled as "good sleep hygiene". There are many aspects to it. Basically, it is getting your body in to a rythym and gradually relax as you get closer to bed time. Anything that relaxes you, but not something that requires active thought or is paricularly stimulating. One thing that worked for me, was to read something that is boring, listening to classical music.

    I also find if there was lots on my mind, very typical with anxiety, training your mind to focus on a random thought to try and trigger the kind of daydreaming that was discussed on a different topic. 

    Getting up to do something, breaks your sleep pattern. I found this very difficult to sort out. I had to persevere to stay in bed, even if I was awake lying still.

    It may be worth speaking to your GP, but I found most didn't really understand about persistent sleep problem. I found a good one in the end, and with the help of some anxiety medication and very strictly rationed sleeping tablets I have managed over time to sleep much easier. But my sleep problems were more severe than your sons

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