How to I explained my recent diagnosis? People do not seem to believe me. (Adult Aspergers)

Thank you Longman and binantsocks

Firstly, welcome to the forum, yours is an unusual story but everyone on the spectrum is different. Have you come across the phrase "if you have met someone with aspergers/autism then you have just met one person with aspergers" i.e. we are all different even though we have the same diagnosis. We all have our own mix of quirks and problems - some of them a consequence of the autism, some of them just came along for the ride.

As I said on the other thread, you don't need to tell everyone. Even if you do tell someone then it is up to them whether they believe you or not. You can't make them understand and you don't need to make this into your problem. SOme people just don't get it and never will, if they were your friends before then there is no reason why they shouldn't stay as friends after - you are the same person as were before, your diagnosis has not changed you.

The eye contact 'thing' crops up all the time. Apart from if you actually avert your eyes by visibly looking elsewhere, how can anyone tell.

Because non-autistics never stop going on about it, many adults try to look in roughly the expectred direction, though they may actually be looking at people's mouths (a common alternative) or their ears. It is not as if anyone can tell that's not eye contact.

You having been in the army, I cannot imagine you would have got very far if you visibly refused to appear to make eye contact.

It is not so much the eye contact that is important though, as how well you read facial expressions, and how well you yourself generate facial expressions. You need to be 'making eye contact' so you can read faces and others can read yours.

Likewise akwardness in a social situation implies shyness. People on the spectrum can be quite bold. It is about how much non-verbal information you pick up, and failing that, how much do you compensate. Your probably compensated very well in the army where there was a visible structure, but would find it harder in the world outside.

Tiring quickly though is an indication you are having to work harder in order to compensate.

These things vary from individual to individual, but I think the primary element is being in the army, where there is an infrastructure of predictable responses - not so in the big wide world.

Personally I wouldn't have made it in the army, so you have my admiration for that.