• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 79 subscribers
  • Views 1305 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Help with talking therapies (not speech therapy)

Pentadactyl

Hi, I've read some topics on similar sounding issues, but I've not found any (at least after a cursory search) which discuss my particular issue. Can anyone offer any advice? My current experience is detailed below:


After some not insignificant shuffling between different therapies and therapy types (and following a diagnosis of depression and anxiety), I was diagnosed with ASD.

However, at each stage (and with each therapist) I have had significant problems in communicating with the therapist (generally, I'll freeze-up and not be able to answer any questions beyond yes or no). As well as this, I become oblivious to my surroundings; I think the best I can describe this is that I become disassociated with events occurring around me.

This has other more pressing effects; largely that I cannot remember after a session what has occurred and that I have missed an opportunity to discuss any concerns I have. This makes these sessions a waste of both the therapist's and my own time, so leaving me in a worse state than when I entered a particular session.

One strategy I have attempted is to write down any concerns or experiences before a session and hand this to the therapist as a session begins. However, I am so perturbed by doing this that it makes my experience of a session much worse (although I have therefore communicated an issue, I am not able to discuss or further investigate any questions raised).

I feel that I am doing or expecting something at odds with what is required/expected here.

My current therapist is practicing CBT. My opinion is that these sessions are designed to help identify items/areas/experience/stimuli which ‘trigger’ a negative response and so help identify ways to respond more appropriately.

Obviously, due to me essentially ‘blanking’ my sessions, I don’t feel that my memories here are absolutely accurate, but I don’t think this is what is happening. My sessions seem to be more a discussion (or lecture, as the case may be) on the topics raised in my provided notes.


To simplify; I suppose I am asking: Does anyone have any advice on how I can become more comfortable talking to the therapist about myself, and so how do I get the most out of my visits?

  • I see. I think you're right that my current attitude will not aid me in the long-run, and I should probably spend less time thinking about these situations and, I suppose, 'go with the flow'.

    As you suggest; even if only to assuage my concerns regarding therapy, I should spend further time investigating CBT as this will allow me to (hopefully) better understand and apply these techniques.

    Thank you for your time.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    One CBT therapist may be good for one person but not another. However, you don't really need a brilliant therapist if you understand CBT properly. They should help you to learn how to use it by yourself when you are on your own.

    One trick I use to challenge myself when I am feeling bad or having a problem is to ask what an ordinary person of average intelligence and average emotional skill would do in the situation. They would probably make a quick choice based on having enough information to make a choice that they can live with. They wouldn't do a comprehensive and detailed flawless piece of logic. You have to accept that you will make mistakes and that you can live with that. It is useful to let yourself live with ordinary, imperfect decisions rather than immaculate Mr Spock style decisions.

    I think it might be useful for you to take your problem with trusting the therapist to the next therapy session. This one question may take more than one session but you have to tackle this problem sooner or later. Ask yourself whether your lack of trust is reasonable or excessively cautious?

  • Hi recombinant socks, thank you for your kind reply. I think you may have identified the crux(es) of the issue here. Forgive me for pontificating here:

    Unfortunately, I think that I find these kinds of sessions deeply unpleasant (I can't imagine many things I want to do less than discuss my feelings and thought processes with what amounts to a stranger). Obviously, if I want things to change, this is something I must do.

    Hmm... Therefore, as I consider the therapist a stranger, it seems that I don't trust them. I expect this is due to how stressful I find this kind of situation (and so each session then becomes more stressful due to the recollection of the previous event). As such, these therapy sessions are also not considered a 'safe space'.

    OK, so I must work to try to reverse this, and the most attainable way to do this is incrementally. <-- this is where I have gotten stuck.

    In reference to my therapist; is the only way to know if they are any good to research CBT techniques myself?

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi Pentadactyl,

    I had some issues last year and ended up in therapy sessions and have read around the subject of CBT and how it is supposed to work. I'm not a doctor so don't take my word as gospel though.

    CBT is supposed to be a principal treatment for people with ASD who have developed issues such as anxiety, depression, stress etc and for helping people become more at ease with the world. It sounds as though you are in the right place and trying to do the right things.

    It is good if you can persuade yourself to relax and feel safe in the sessions. Having one to one sessions should be easier for you to deal with than group sessions. Do you feel that you can trust the therapist and that they are genuinely trying to help you? To begin with the therapist may simply be trying to help you relax and feel comfortable - perhaps there is a little way to go there by the sound of it?

    One of the main points of CBT is that you should be having discussions about things and the therapist should be challenging you a bit to work out, for yourself, what is really the best response to a given situation. This means that you have to work out what your reflex reaction would be and then work out if this a good reaction and then work out if you can identify a better way of reacting in a situation. 

    We (people with ASD) tend to react instinctively and rigidly and repeat the same responses over and over. CBT should be attempting to teach us that we can break that cycle and learn to have confidence in our ability to think things through to a better conclusion. We learn from experience that we can get into trouble by saying the wrong thing and sometimes we react by clamming up and withdrawing from any attempt to engage in conversation. This means that we get less practice and the situation is lilkely to get worse as we then lose touch with how people might react. Perhaps you have become too nervous of making mistakes and have withdrawn too far? The CBT therapy should be a safe place where you are free to make mistakes and not get into trouble. The therapist should in fact encourage you to try things out (i.e. make even more mistakes!) and see how they work.

    Does any of this make sense and help you work out how to deal with it?