• Replies 2 replies
  • Subscribers 79 subscribers
  • Views 995 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

University Flatmates

Lumos

Two of my flatmates told me that they were considering accomodation for next year, and that they felt they didn't 'gel' with me. They said 'I hope this won't be a problem this year but we wouldn't want it next year.'

It really upset me as I thought they were my friends.

Do they mean that they don't like me? Should I stay out of their way? I've kind of been avoiding them/talking to them as I don't know what they meant by they didn't 'gel' with me. Like that they don't want to be around me? They find me annoying? I really don't understand and I don't want them to think I'm sulking or anything so I'm trying to strike a balance between staying out of their way and ignoring them. 

I've been walking to lectures alone, because I usually walk with one of them, but if he doesn't like me or I annoy him I don't want to frustrate him further. They were really blunt about it so I'm not sure what kind of reaction they wanted, or if they didn't think about it and they just said what they were thinking.

How should I continue? How upset/offended should I be?

Thanks!

Parents

  • ^^ great advice. 

    Lumos, I can understand you being upset, I think I would be too, but Longman is right - living together is a different thing entirely to just maintaining a friendship with someone because there are so many more influences at play such as lifestyle and preferred living standards. Many of my friends I wouldn't live with, I think we differ too much in how we like to spend our time at home. 

    This could be an opportunity for you, so try to look at the bright side. You may get to meet new friends by changing house mates, or even get better accommodation. It could be a blessing in disguise. 

    As long as your current housemates are still being nice to you, do as Longman suggests - continue as you were, don't dwell on it. You may be glad it happened one day.

Reply

  • ^^ great advice. 

    Lumos, I can understand you being upset, I think I would be too, but Longman is right - living together is a different thing entirely to just maintaining a friendship with someone because there are so many more influences at play such as lifestyle and preferred living standards. Many of my friends I wouldn't live with, I think we differ too much in how we like to spend our time at home. 

    This could be an opportunity for you, so try to look at the bright side. You may get to meet new friends by changing house mates, or even get better accommodation. It could be a blessing in disguise. 

    As long as your current housemates are still being nice to you, do as Longman suggests - continue as you were, don't dwell on it. You may be glad it happened one day.

Children
No Data