I haven't said this in years, but please would you help with my (CBT) homework?

classic codger said:

These therapies are designed by NTs, for NTs. They are in no way reflective of the way that we think, read or respond to situations. It's all very well saying to, for instance, Longman, that in that situation you could have done xyz abc etc, this is, after all, the basis for social stories, but remembering to relate a theoretical situation discussed in the calm of a non-threatening place with a real-life scenario is vastly different. This is one of many instances where NTs don't, and cannot, 'get it'. The false premise is that we can change the way we think - you might as well say that we can train NTs to think, feel and react the same way that we do. Preposterous.

This makes it sound as though NT's think one way and we think in a different way. We have different strengths and weaknesses but there are many different personality types and thinking styles within NTs and people with autism do not all think in a single way. We tend to be more isealistic and less constrained by convention, we tend to think laterally rather than trotting things out parrot fashion but we have more in common in thinking styles and thinking ability with NT's than we sometimes think. We are capable of being trained and also of being educated. i.e. we can learn the rules and we can learn to understand why things happen. We are capable of creative thought and invention - just as NTs are capable of the same things. It is clear from reading the threads on this forum that there is not unanimity of thought among us. Indeed, I find it harder to deal with other AS people that I have worked with than NTs. The problem is that when you put two people with communication problems together the opportunity for misunderstanding is actually greater than if you put an AS person with an NT person.

I think there is an issue of dividing the world into them and us. People talk as if there is almost a conspiracy of NTs against people with autism. They don't understand us, that is true. But we don't understand them either. Who is most at fault in holding on to prejudices and fixed ideas? Actually, we are the ones that struggle with rigidity of thought! But, rigidity of thought does not mean that we are incapable of learning new things and new ideas about how to deal with our problems. It may be harder and we will never get rid of the autism or the barriers that it creates for us but I think we should be deliberately open minded to trying things, like CBT, that might help. I would much rather try CBT than drugs and I don't see much alternative.

There is a destructive tendency in some of these posts to criticise everything without suggesting a useful alternative. People with AS tend to be critical thinkers who can pick things apart and find the faults. I know that I have been guilty of this at times. We are perhaps less good at being more constructive and accepting that something, even with some faults, is better than doing nothing. This leaves people like the OP with the impression that their situation is totally hopeless and that there is nothing to be done. CBT has had real benefits for some people on this forum. These people have often found that it is effective when drugs have failed. Nobody claims that CBT will cure autism, what it can do is make life better, with less anxiety and depression than before.

The OP came looking for advice on how to tackle an assignment and to help with getting more out of CBT. The impression I have is that most people who have contributed have dismissed the whole idea of CBT but no-one has suggested anything better or even many words of encouragement. How do you think that approach makes the OP feel?

classic codger said:

These therapies are designed by NTs, for NTs. They are in no way reflective of the way that we think, read or respond to situations. It's all very well saying to, for instance, Longman, that in that situation you could have done xyz abc etc, this is, after all, the basis for social stories, but remembering to relate a theoretical situation discussed in the calm of a non-threatening place with a real-life scenario is vastly different. This is one of many instances where NTs don't, and cannot, 'get it'. The false premise is that we can change the way we think - you might as well say that we can train NTs to think, feel and react the same way that we do. Preposterous.

This makes it sound as though NT's think one way and we think in a different way. We have different strengths and weaknesses but there are many different personality types and thinking styles within NTs and people with autism do not all think in a single way. We tend to be more isealistic and less constrained by convention, we tend to think laterally rather than trotting things out parrot fashion but we have more in common in thinking styles and thinking ability with NT's than we sometimes think. We are capable of being trained and also of being educated. i.e. we can learn the rules and we can learn to understand why things happen. We are capable of creative thought and invention - just as NTs are capable of the same things. It is clear from reading the threads on this forum that there is not unanimity of thought among us. Indeed, I find it harder to deal with other AS people that I have worked with than NTs. The problem is that when you put two people with communication problems together the opportunity for misunderstanding is actually greater than if you put an AS person with an NT person.

I think there is an issue of dividing the world into them and us. People talk as if there is almost a conspiracy of NTs against people with autism. They don't understand us, that is true. But we don't understand them either. Who is most at fault in holding on to prejudices and fixed ideas? Actually, we are the ones that struggle with rigidity of thought! But, rigidity of thought does not mean that we are incapable of learning new things and new ideas about how to deal with our problems. It may be harder and we will never get rid of the autism or the barriers that it creates for us but I think we should be deliberately open minded to trying things, like CBT, that might help. I would much rather try CBT than drugs and I don't see much alternative.

There is a destructive tendency in some of these posts to criticise everything without suggesting a useful alternative. People with AS tend to be critical thinkers who can pick things apart and find the faults. I know that I have been guilty of this at times. We are perhaps less good at being more constructive and accepting that something, even with some faults, is better than doing nothing. This leaves people like the OP with the impression that their situation is totally hopeless and that there is nothing to be done. CBT has had real benefits for some people on this forum. These people have often found that it is effective when drugs have failed. Nobody claims that CBT will cure autism, what it can do is make life better, with less anxiety and depression than before.

The OP came looking for advice on how to tackle an assignment and to help with getting more out of CBT. The impression I have is that most people who have contributed have dismissed the whole idea of CBT but no-one has suggested anything better or even many words of encouragement. How do you think that approach makes the OP feel?