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I haven't said this in years, but please would you help with my (CBT) homework?

felineaut

I am participating in CBT to help me learn new ways to manage myself in challenging situations. My therapist/practitioner/tutor suggested we each seek answers to questions about a hypothetical scenario. I hope it's ok to post this here, I wondered if there's anyone with a few minutes to spare who wouldn't mind sharing their thoughts.

Many thanks for reading and many more if you are able to answer - completely understand that everyone's busy. I am happy to update when we've compared answers to see how mental health professionals differ from any answers I receive if anyone has any interest.

The Situation:

(From the perspective of a car driver, imagined or real)

If you were stopped in a parking space to drop someone off and someone pulled up alongside and became confrontational about you being there, got out of their car and started shouting and taking your registration number:

1) How would you feel? 

2) What would you do?

3) Is it unreasonable to feel helpless and upset?

4) How would you 'come down' from that?

Parents

  • To be honest I took the parent adult child Transactional Analysis very seriously, and I owe a lot to it.

    I agree it is something people on the spectrum can adopt and use to great advantage. I try as often as I can to find the adult balance response in order to avoid sticky situations.

    But for two reasons it isn't that simple - for one my eyes and facial expression aren't my best friend, and for another I'm prone to analyse - I'll spend pointless hours working out the adult option to numerous improbable hypothetical situations.

    I don't care whether as some people say - this pragmatics/body language business is rubbish - no matter how hard I try, my eyes and facial expression aren't doing what I want them to do. I look angry or assertive when I don't mean to. I try to be adult in my response and my face tells a different story, and implies I'm being facetious, or mocking, or two-faced....

    Added to which I'm tall, and used to handling authority (its the teacher in me) I really do look challenging, which isn't a good idea when you want to placate the situation. And I know other people on the spectrum who have this problem. Coping means becoming a whole lot tougher and more resilient than most people - and it shows....whatever else my facial expression and body language are doing. I'm generally a lot scarier than I mean to be (or can live up to).

    Yes CBT might help you work out the best way of handling a situation. But it doesn't take away inherent autistic spectrum problems. A lot of people on the spectrum just don't have the "face" to front the diplomacy.

    As to the other thing - I do tend to worry my way through endless solutions to things that haven't happened yet.

    When someone comes up with genuine TA/CBT that is apt for autism I might take it seriously.

Reply

  • To be honest I took the parent adult child Transactional Analysis very seriously, and I owe a lot to it.

    I agree it is something people on the spectrum can adopt and use to great advantage. I try as often as I can to find the adult balance response in order to avoid sticky situations.

    But for two reasons it isn't that simple - for one my eyes and facial expression aren't my best friend, and for another I'm prone to analyse - I'll spend pointless hours working out the adult option to numerous improbable hypothetical situations.

    I don't care whether as some people say - this pragmatics/body language business is rubbish - no matter how hard I try, my eyes and facial expression aren't doing what I want them to do. I look angry or assertive when I don't mean to. I try to be adult in my response and my face tells a different story, and implies I'm being facetious, or mocking, or two-faced....

    Added to which I'm tall, and used to handling authority (its the teacher in me) I really do look challenging, which isn't a good idea when you want to placate the situation. And I know other people on the spectrum who have this problem. Coping means becoming a whole lot tougher and more resilient than most people - and it shows....whatever else my facial expression and body language are doing. I'm generally a lot scarier than I mean to be (or can live up to).

    Yes CBT might help you work out the best way of handling a situation. But it doesn't take away inherent autistic spectrum problems. A lot of people on the spectrum just don't have the "face" to front the diplomacy.

    As to the other thing - I do tend to worry my way through endless solutions to things that haven't happened yet.

    When someone comes up with genuine TA/CBT that is apt for autism I might take it seriously.

Children
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