Obessive Relationships.

I've had a bit of difficulty with this. The other side of the problem, though, is knowing when someone IS interested. I've got a habit of assuming someone I'm attracted to won't be interested because it's probably only me daydreaming. As a result of this I've only dated people I don't know very well who approach me and ask me out, rather than anyone I've got to know over a period of time before getting involved. This hasn't worked out very well at all.

I have a similar problem, in that any man who shows an interest in me starts me off obsessing about him.  And I am in a relationship with a man who I love with all my heart.  Obviously this causes problems between me & my other half.

I have no idea if this is a 'lack of friends' type of thing or an attention seeking type thing. As soon as I've met this man, I'm trying to find out everything about him & checking Facebook for pictures etc.

I just want to stop this obsessing thing before it destroys the relationship with the most amazing man I have ever met.

Can anybody offer any advice on how to get myself out of this destructive behaviour?

Thank you

Your comment for me really summed up how I feel about this situation. It was actually really comforting for me to read it as I felt for the first time that someone with Asperger's also had the same thing, I've never met anyone with it so for me it (as you have said yourself) was really isolating. Your comment really helped me, thank you very much :)

I completely relate to you with you saying that you think your stuck with it. I've had this going on for more than 10 years and I'm not sure if it will ever truly go away. Thank you for your message. 

I have experienced this too. I found it euphoric at first. Like walking on clouds. But all the while there was the pragmatic part of my brain in the background whispering that this was all just a daydream, a fantasy.

lucky for me but I got to see the object of my obsession behaving badly and my respect died. I found the strength inside somehow to cut it off (end it) completely. That was the hardest decision but the best one I ever made. I have had no contact with that person since then, and I feel so much better now. 

I still think about that person but not so much. Every day it fades a bit more. I have found other more healthy things to focus on.

Hang in there and don't give up! 

Try to find some other hobby or friends that you can spend enjoyable time with. It sounds easier said than done, but does help in the end.

I've stuggled with exactly the same thig all my life.  Only thing I've found that helps is to distract myself with something - video games work well for me.  Unfortunately I've come to the conclusion that I'm stuck with it.  After seeing it happen again and again, being well aware of it and still being unable to stop it I don't think there's a solution for me at least.  Sorry to be a downer, but I'm suffering from it at the moment.

I'm sorry that you have lost your job over this. This obession has lasted (on and off) for about 8-10 years, it is awful. But hopefully time shall help me. 

Thank you very much for your message, it was really kind and helpful. 

I have suffered from this since I was a teenager and recently lost my job becasue of it. (I misuderstood signals I thought I was receving from a more junior female colleague).  There is no easy answer I fear.  Switching to another obsession can certainly help but in my experience time is the best healer.  One obsession of mine lasted ten years but most waned after about 18 months.  Try to hang in there and try not to do anything which could be misinterpreted as harassment or stalking (this is especially dangerous for older men whose motives, especially in the current climate, will never be understood as anything other than wicked and predatory).  

As well as having Asperger syndrome I have very recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder which I now realise gets triggered in these situations.  Some drugs for controlling mood may well have helped me but this will not be for everyone.

It's very very hard but keep up the fight.  I wish you all the best.

I have been in similar situations many times. For me the only solution is to find another obsession! Going to the gym or on a diet, or finding a new hobby helps.

Also recomend Chris Mitchell's books about Aspergers and mindfulness and Buddhism. It makes a lot of sense to me, and have started meditating in an effort to calm my obsessive thoughts. A challenge!

I have exactly the same issue - I have Asperger's. I fall in love with just one person and think about them all the time; they become an all encompassing interest. I have enough awareness not to stalk them (but I do obsessively view online images of them and try and collect information about them). I can't tell them how interested I am in them because I worry about what they would do or say. In fact I have only told one person about this obsession, a friend of mine who also has Asperger's, so it feels very isolating. I fear what will happen if I can longer see them again because they literally make my life feel complete. I feel so fixated that I feel insecure if other people get too close to this individual because I want to have them all to myself. By your username I am guessing you are female? I am female as well. I wonder whether being obsessed with people is more common among women with autism. I would also like advice on what to do about this. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, if thay is any help, as this can feel isolating.