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Lost my employment tribunal case

Pheon

I have very recently been diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome and bipolar effective disorder.  I was a senior manager in a medium sized organisation and became infatuated with a more junior colleague whom I was convinced reciprocated my feelings.  We had lunch together but I felt unable to unable to express my feelings.  I then sent her a small box of chocolates on Valentine's Day.  She looked shocked and returned them.  This precipitated a serious depressive episode and over the next four months I sent her 4 or 5 emails apologising, trying to tell her I was unwell and seeking to meet her to explain what was happening. At that stage I did not know what was wrong with me but I referred myself to a psychotherapist.  No complaints were rasied against me at the time but I became so unwell I reported my own behaviour to my boss as it was also affecting my work.

I went off sick and was later fired for gross misconduct arising from sexual harassment.  I represented myself at a tribunal at which I claimed unfair dismissal and discrimination related to disability. After having to pay for a joint expert witness (the other side refused to believe my psychiatrist) the other side conceded I was disabled about three weeks before the hearing.  I lost but the judge said some quite interesting things.  She said my behaviour up to and including the sending of the Valentine's gift was not wilful misconduct becasue my disability explained it.  However my sending of emails thereafter was wilful becasue I knew it was wrong (I had sought help) and knew my attentions were unwanted (she had returned the gift, albeith with a gracious email).  This was in spite of the fact that I had no intention of doing harm and the expert, a recognised authority in Autism Spectrum Disorder in adults, said that I would not have done the things I was accused of had I not been experiencing an abnormal mood state associated with my bipolar disorder and Asperger Syndrome.

Parents

  • Perhaps if I hedge round what might have been the controversial bits.

    There are two issues here - the difficulty for people on the spectrum getting feedback and the way people quickly focus on the media image of people with autism as being prone to make inappropriate advances.

    Difficulty with social communication means that it is hard to get social referencing and feedback. So Pheon is at a huge disadvantage gauging what is appropriate. As he describes them the actual instances don't seem that much, and they must happen often in work environments.

    What is lacking is useful guidance about social relations in the workplace,. There just isn't enough out there that would help someone on the spectrum anticipate the likely diificulties and avoid pitfalls.

    I have encountered situations where people have overreacted to others with autism, because there is a public perception that people on the spectrum make inappropriate sexual moves and stalk people. The media often portrays this aspect. In many cases the issues may be much less significant.

    What concerned me, on first reading this, is that once the autism factor was disclosed it became a much bigger issue. Do people jump on situations where someone with autism mishandles a sexual overtures situation on the basis it is expected, rather than treating people as people first, rather than stereotypes?

    Well hopefully I've dodged the minefield this time. If not I'm stymied.

    Interesting how when this happens the rate of postings plummets. There were several "temporarily unpublished this comment" incidents this morning, and I've noticed through the day it has impacted on people's readiness to post.

Reply

  • Perhaps if I hedge round what might have been the controversial bits.

    There are two issues here - the difficulty for people on the spectrum getting feedback and the way people quickly focus on the media image of people with autism as being prone to make inappropriate advances.

    Difficulty with social communication means that it is hard to get social referencing and feedback. So Pheon is at a huge disadvantage gauging what is appropriate. As he describes them the actual instances don't seem that much, and they must happen often in work environments.

    What is lacking is useful guidance about social relations in the workplace,. There just isn't enough out there that would help someone on the spectrum anticipate the likely diificulties and avoid pitfalls.

    I have encountered situations where people have overreacted to others with autism, because there is a public perception that people on the spectrum make inappropriate sexual moves and stalk people. The media often portrays this aspect. In many cases the issues may be much less significant.

    What concerned me, on first reading this, is that once the autism factor was disclosed it became a much bigger issue. Do people jump on situations where someone with autism mishandles a sexual overtures situation on the basis it is expected, rather than treating people as people first, rather than stereotypes?

    Well hopefully I've dodged the minefield this time. If not I'm stymied.

    Interesting how when this happens the rate of postings plummets. There were several "temporarily unpublished this comment" incidents this morning, and I've noticed through the day it has impacted on people's readiness to post.

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