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Awful situation

Justme

My sons 11 has asd and other issues.Hes very clumsy and trips up alot. 2 weeks ago he was playing piggy in the middle with another boy and girl. Him and the girl went for the ball they have ended up tripping up over each other and the girl has hit her arm on the edge of the pavement. I have confirmed this is true as the other boy told me. I knew nothing of this till later on in the night when their mum knocked and told me i apologise it happened and said i would speak to my son in the morning as he was in bed. So next day i spoke to him the other boy who was there and found out it was purely an accident. My son felt so bad that we decided to get her a get well soon card and a box of chocolate and me and him took them across and all seemed fine. 

A coupleof days later my son was playing out and came in upset turns out the girls sister (who wasn't even around when it happened) had told their mum that my son had purposely pushed the girl over and thrown himself on her and broken her arm, now mum believes everything sister says she always does and told everyone to stay away from my son as hes a bad influence. My son went back to school after summer holidays and wasn't out last week.

Their mum knocked on our door thursday very angrily having a go as her daughter need a operation on her arm. We feel bad its happened but we honestly don't know now  what we should be doing at this point and we don't understand what is expected of us. I can understand that she upset her daughters hurt but it was purely just an accident.

My son wasout playing with other children today when this to girls came out within 10 minutes their mums out shouting at my son the eldest girl not the one that had broken her arm and gone and told the mum that my son had said they were lazy when my son said no i didn't the mum responded with well we know yoy was thinking it and its all your fault we are being lazy as if the operation doesn't work she will have to have her arm amputated and thats all your fault too. My sons a mess over this he didn't mean for it to happen it was an accident and its not fair for him to get treat like this she knows he has issues an all. I honestly don't know what to do anyone got any advice?

Parents

  • Humans don't like difference. No matter how hard we try to be tolerant and understanding, there is a deep down fear of someone "not like us".

    This is particularly true of mental health (I'm not confusing that with autism - but it is relevant to mention it). People think someone with mental health issues is dangerous, even though most mental health conditions aren't. Unfortunately a lot of the public get it into their heads that autism is a mental health problem. Media images don't help - that awful one in the Frost series about a boy with autism was on one of the repeat channels last night - really doesn't help.

    What you are experiencing is hate crime. They are trying to ramp it up - like scratching a sore. They've decided they don't want the different child in the community.

    The law is (in theory) on your side. You need to report every approach, insinuation and threat as a hate crime incident, and get an incident number every time, and keep a detailed record. I would strongly recommend getting legal advice straight away. The police aren't always genned up enough (discrimination training is very patchy). You still get reports of police officers siding with the haters.

    Situations like this can get entrenched, resulting in you having to move. If the law operates as it should however, after three hate crime reports they are obliged to intervene and warn the offenders.

    Also contact the NAS helpline. And find out if there is a local NAS Group or an independent parents group in your area as they can offer support. Don't leave it to get out of hand.

    You've clearly got some sick neighbours. You do get them - its a fact of life. But the law is on your side. Hate crime, harrassment and intimidation, such as you describe, is unlawful.

Reply

  • Humans don't like difference. No matter how hard we try to be tolerant and understanding, there is a deep down fear of someone "not like us".

    This is particularly true of mental health (I'm not confusing that with autism - but it is relevant to mention it). People think someone with mental health issues is dangerous, even though most mental health conditions aren't. Unfortunately a lot of the public get it into their heads that autism is a mental health problem. Media images don't help - that awful one in the Frost series about a boy with autism was on one of the repeat channels last night - really doesn't help.

    What you are experiencing is hate crime. They are trying to ramp it up - like scratching a sore. They've decided they don't want the different child in the community.

    The law is (in theory) on your side. You need to report every approach, insinuation and threat as a hate crime incident, and get an incident number every time, and keep a detailed record. I would strongly recommend getting legal advice straight away. The police aren't always genned up enough (discrimination training is very patchy). You still get reports of police officers siding with the haters.

    Situations like this can get entrenched, resulting in you having to move. If the law operates as it should however, after three hate crime reports they are obliged to intervene and warn the offenders.

    Also contact the NAS helpline. And find out if there is a local NAS Group or an independent parents group in your area as they can offer support. Don't leave it to get out of hand.

    You've clearly got some sick neighbours. You do get them - its a fact of life. But the law is on your side. Hate crime, harrassment and intimidation, such as you describe, is unlawful.

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