hello
I was reading with interest the article in this month autism magazine on bullying. It was refreshing as for me bullying is like seems to be misunderstood. It is a myth that bullying is just big time events for example wispering or chewing gum stuck in ones hair or even likewise and it is much harder to identify when there is emotional bullying happening to oneself may be. It is still bullying. It is also harder too if the person doing the bullying may not be aware how it comes over as bullying to 'us'. It is still bullying though as made to feel bad for their own gain.
Earlier this year I had a fairly major change after leaving a church I been to for 30 years for another because I felt a load of unhappy feelings of there. I won't say too much as not the right place probably. Even if I had seen the article earlier it probably wouldn't have helped me much as wouldn't been the right time. But I remember asking the priest of the new church I go now go to, 'when do I know I need to stop going'? It was almost as though he had written that article himself with his reply of when you feel all 'tense' inside. He didn't use that word but demonstrated it for me. In other words I should have stopped going there long ago but finally did and for the better. He actually knows the full details as it were but when I read the article it just said so much to me.
Bullying for us may be different to everyday bullying in that smaller things overwhelm us and if people are taking that advantage of us, knowing if they say and do something deliberately to trigger bad feelings in us, that is bullying from how I read that article.
The move was a good move for me and it the only church I have actually ever swapped from. If I naturally don't like doing something it easy enough to stop. But I kind of enjoyed the service. It was the rest of it I felt very, well let us say in contrast now it so much happier and better and I know I can ask the clergy any question no question is too small and they although very busy have time and feel much better part of the congregation here and whilst I am still very new to that church and aware of that it is a better feeling for me.
Thank you to the autism magazine for writing that article for confirmed what the priest was saying to me about how to recognise when to stop going mirrored how to recognise when someone is bullying you no matter how small it may seem to the other. Thank you