As someone with AS and on my third marriage I am frequently asking myself if I should keep putting myself through the anxiety of relationships. I am rarely truly happy is the company of others as I often feel like a fish out of water in the company of others. Similar to many people with AS I find small talk and starting conversations very difficult and when I do make attempts to engage with others I often come across as rude or insensitive.
In recent weeks I have had a shed built in the garden where I am writing this message from. We live in a crowded household so space inside is at a premium so the shed was seen as a solution, my preferred option was to move out and maintain a relationship with my wife and step children on a part time basis but that was met with hostility by my wife and her children.
If I am honest I think that one day my AS will be all too much for my wife to deal with considering her commitments to her children and we will probably separate, this is where my AS helps because being alone does not fill me with dread in the slightest.
Is this experience in any way familiar to anyone?