Damned if you do.......damned if you don't

Hi,

As someone who has been recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and who has subsequently recieved answers to a great many questions as a result I would like to know how other people with AS status cope long term. I am finding that whilst the diagnosis has been welcome very little in life has changed for me and I feel as isolated and misunderstood as I have always felt. My partner who tries to understand is often the reason for my anxiety, she may be the centre of my universe her apparent intolerence is often a source of stress for me.

I find if I withdraw from conversations my wife complains and when I try and often fail to engage in conversation I am accused of being rude or insensitive. I find my partners inconsistent approach to the rules of the house and the way she expects me to just cope with it is provong very taxing. It is very difficult as she is very understanding in so many ways but I guess her resentment of my condition runs deep.

My preferred approach is to withdraw from conversation completley, I can happily go hours even days without talking to anyone so pitching in to conversations often fills me with dread. I usually say something deemed inappropriate or more than likely insensitive. 

Does anyone feel that trying to esatblish a identity for yourself as someone with autism is important. I do not want to let my AS limit or define who I am but believe firmly that I should respect it and acknowledge it is a big part of who I am and as such should be recognised. I only wish others would recognise it too.

Thank you

Parents
  • There are few benefits to being an middle aged adult with AS but experience is one of them. I have been a child and a teenager with AS so I do get it which, I have found, most people don't. 

    The line between where a NT child ends and an AS child begins is very blurred and as such many spoilt badly behaved children get given the excuse that they have ADHD for instance (nearly always diagnosed by their parents to make up for their bad job at parenting). 

    As an AS adult with children on the spectrum I can usually tell what problems are AS related and what is a child/teenager being stroppy. Sadly NT people will always struggle to do this.

Reply
  • There are few benefits to being an middle aged adult with AS but experience is one of them. I have been a child and a teenager with AS so I do get it which, I have found, most people don't. 

    The line between where a NT child ends and an AS child begins is very blurred and as such many spoilt badly behaved children get given the excuse that they have ADHD for instance (nearly always diagnosed by their parents to make up for their bad job at parenting). 

    As an AS adult with children on the spectrum I can usually tell what problems are AS related and what is a child/teenager being stroppy. Sadly NT people will always struggle to do this.

Children
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