Damned if you do.......damned if you don't

Hi,

As someone who has been recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and who has subsequently recieved answers to a great many questions as a result I would like to know how other people with AS status cope long term. I am finding that whilst the diagnosis has been welcome very little in life has changed for me and I feel as isolated and misunderstood as I have always felt. My partner who tries to understand is often the reason for my anxiety, she may be the centre of my universe her apparent intolerence is often a source of stress for me.

I find if I withdraw from conversations my wife complains and when I try and often fail to engage in conversation I am accused of being rude or insensitive. I find my partners inconsistent approach to the rules of the house and the way she expects me to just cope with it is provong very taxing. It is very difficult as she is very understanding in so many ways but I guess her resentment of my condition runs deep.

My preferred approach is to withdraw from conversation completley, I can happily go hours even days without talking to anyone so pitching in to conversations often fills me with dread. I usually say something deemed inappropriate or more than likely insensitive. 

Does anyone feel that trying to esatblish a identity for yourself as someone with autism is important. I do not want to let my AS limit or define who I am but believe firmly that I should respect it and acknowledge it is a big part of who I am and as such should be recognised. I only wish others would recognise it too.

Thank you

Parents
  • Hi all,

    Thanks a lot for your replies. I will try and think of other things he can do to help, I didnt realise it was him needing to help I thought it was him feeling left out when his siblings were doing things.

    I will also try and ignor it when he doesnt look happy and just give him the time to complete the chore, maybe he looks unhappy to me just because he is thinking it through and I should just wait it out? He is very poor at asking for help though and I hate to see him struggle.

    It is hard sorting out what is teenage behaviour and what is through his AS for us parents of teens! What we should be helping with and whats best left alone.

    Thanks again

    Sam

    x

Reply
  • Hi all,

    Thanks a lot for your replies. I will try and think of other things he can do to help, I didnt realise it was him needing to help I thought it was him feeling left out when his siblings were doing things.

    I will also try and ignor it when he doesnt look happy and just give him the time to complete the chore, maybe he looks unhappy to me just because he is thinking it through and I should just wait it out? He is very poor at asking for help though and I hate to see him struggle.

    It is hard sorting out what is teenage behaviour and what is through his AS for us parents of teens! What we should be helping with and whats best left alone.

    Thanks again

    Sam

    x

Children
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